Waste

I don't even know what to write...
If you wanna overdose on drugs, don't waste the hospital's time...
But then again, maybe it is a legitimate sickness. You're too weak to be able to resist taking drugs. Weak weak weak. That's all I think about her.
I could see her lying in the bed, from far away with all those machines around her. She wasn't hooked up to any of them. The nurse came in and said she was awake and was going to be okay. Maybe just get her stomach pumped at least that's what i think antiviral whatever whatever meant.
I think I must be really rotten because part of me hoped that she was dying. I think life would be easier for everyone that way. She's just a waste of space. I sound so cold, I can't help it. I wanted to go into the room and say goodbye for the last time, I really did. I thought I would see her life slipping away in front of me and I dunno... maybe shed a few tears but I'd be relieved mostly. God maybe I am more like her then I thought, I'm just as much of a bitch.
My granny was so shaken up. She still cares so much, I guess all of us do in our own way. My granny said she didn't want to see her and then the nurse asked if I was her daughter... I didn't want to say yes. She asked if I wanted to see her and I didn't. Not if she was awake.
What a fucking mess.