I'm so excited to do my stage, it's insane! And it makes me feel really happy. Because I'm never sure if I'm doing the right thing in life or if I'm going to be happy. And now I feel like it's right! Hopefully the feeling will continue. Woo Hoo!
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I just got back a little while ago from Yoga. It was a great class :) Fast-paced but good. I can finally put my feet flat in downward dog but not for too long. Still, it's an accomplishment. I have my first day of stage tomorrow. I'll be given the tour of the school, meet my cooperating teacher, and probably attend a staff meeting or two, all before the students come in. They start next Monday. I really really hope that I will like and get along with my CT because I think that pretty much makes or breaks your stage. I'm excited though. Grade 4 and 5, it should be a blast! I wonder what sorts of things I will teach them. I'm not sure if my CT teaches Eng Language Arts, Math, Science, Social Science, PE or is it PD, Art, Drama, Dance, Music... who knows, I'll find out tomorrow. :) I hope this will be a great experience.
I love looking at things from the perspective of a fresh start, a new beginning. It makes me excited and happy. I love having the opportunity to self-improve. That is always my intention. I sitting here writing this with hair a color I like, a tan I like, clothes I like, in a house I like, with the fan blowing on me, and for the first time in a while, I feel at home and I feel well. I have a lot of things to do and get organized but I know the environment will be calm and stable, unless something out of the ordinary occurs. And the calm and stable is really what I need right now. I start stage on Tuesday and I am looking forward to that as well. It will be a lot of work, but I want to learn and I want to improve. And I want to throw myself into it. I would also like to by a 1000 piece puzzle to start working on. My Aunt told me she is only into doing puzzles online but I think I can persuade her. I know she won't be able to help herself. hehe I just feel free. Free to see friends...
It's very rare that I ever feel like life isn't worth it. And even writing this, I know deep down it is not true. But to me life and love are the same. The point of life is all about love and whatever ensues from that. And right now I want to die. I'm not in love anymore, I'm just in pain. I don't really want to die or anything because I know eventually I will heal and things will get better and someone will come along and it will work. but right now I just don't want to feel any of this. I knew I would, but i still don't want to hurt like this. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed, and if i can't sleep, i'm going to try to get lost in a book. I work again tomorrow 8-5pm and I'm going to turn my phone off tonight because I can't be on this emotional rollercoaster anymore. I'm almost physically sick right now. So it's over. Over for real. No more fake break-ups or day long break-ups or hour long ones or anything, just over. I wil...
Now this is just fucked up... wow!! It makes me feel that perhaps I'm on the right track. I took that Myers-Briggs personality test and I'm INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceptive) and then I read about my results and this is what I found from this website: http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP_car.html Copied word for word: Careers for INFP Personality Types -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career whi...
Who knows why we stay in shitty relationships for so long. I would argue that it is a bit of a mental sickness that gets inside of us. Even though we know it's bad and that things are not the way they are supposed to be, we stay. We hope that things will change, that things will get better. And we keep hoping. Hoping until we just reach our breaking point. And the last straw doesn't even have to be the biggest problem or issue or fight you've had, it's just the last straw. The camel's back breaks and that's it, we can't do it anymore. Until that point, we stay as long as we can, we try whatever we can, and we put up with a lot of things that under any other circumstance we would not take. From my experience, relationships just go that way. And you know when enough is enough. You just run out of energy, you run out of tears, and you lose your desire to try. You just give up because you have nothing left to give and you aren't getting anything in return bu...