The Last Day of Summer

Sometimes I don't feel very alive. I'm breathing and everything, I'm just not doing anything new. I guess I am a little bored. Boredom is a lack of imagination. Therefore, I need to be more imaginative. I need to do new things. I wonder what I could start with? I can't tell you how excited I am for xmas vacation. I always look at it as a chance to do the things I really wanna do, instead of constantly moving between work and school. I woke up to snow on the ground the other day and I actually didn't mind. I felt kind of happy. That's weird for me because usually I hate winter and its arrival. I guess I am just excited for classes to be finished and that's what the coming soon signifies for me. Who knows? It is also one of the first years that I am appreciating the crisper, fresher air of the cold. It feels good sometimes. I can't wait to be working with kids and in schools. I think that I will really like it. As long as i can come up with good lessons t...

Your Top Strength Curiosity and interest in the worldYou are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery. Your Second Strength Appreciation of beauty and excellenceYou notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience. Your Third Strength Honesty, authenticity, and genuinenessYou are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person. Your Fourth Strength Bravery and valorYou are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions. Your Fifth Strength GratitudeYou are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take...

I took this personality/career test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/ (the Jung free test) and this is what I got http://keirsey.com/personality/nfej.html which is a little comforting. It basically says that I am best suited to being a teacher. w0ot wo0t! :D these are the careers I am most suited for: http://www.humanmetrics.com/vocation/JCI.asp?EI=33&SN=-12&TF=-50&JP=33 muhahaha!

And I Wander The soul it aches, Cries out for new experience Come to me, Come to me If not I will wither Dry up like a prune Leave you lifeless For what are we without souls? If we lose that eternal fire We are ashes We are not reborn We are not phoenix -like At least not with dead souls Who will defibrillate Who or what Where is my inspiration My motivation, my exhilaration Oh the constant constipation That our fool flesh is heir to Where is my meaning Where is my joy? It is this passivity That is the killer That is why I am still in school And not in paradise Help me find paradise. (I love lawrence ferlinghetti)

I should probably keep a seperate blog/journal for my stage stuff but this is just easier. So I am absolutely loving my stage. It's great. The kids love me and I actually enjoy helping them with their French and speaking French all day. Who would have thought? My CT gave me my first mission the other day, to go pick the kids up from gym and to have them walk back in their lines to the classroom. haha it sounds like nothing but I was a little nervous because I would have to walk them by many other classrooms and if the kids weren't behaving, it would disrupt the other classes. So i went downstairs stood and gave them time to line up. I made sure they were in thier two lines before leaving the gym. Then a few times along the way, I stopped, and hadthem make sure they were in their lines. It actually went fine. Two boys were talking in the back but i figured it would be more distracting to make the whole group stop and to get those two in line so i just walked and they had to keep...

I had my first day of stage today. It was awesome. I think I will like being an elementary school teacher. I can see myself doing it. Such a difference from working the afterschool program at willingdon. I don't even mind that I am in a French class, it's kool. My french will probably even improve. I really like the way the teacher has the classroom laid out. Small groupings of 3-4 students, each group is a team and motivated to do well for their team. My CT seems to be pretty nice. She is going to have me do a lesson on my own after the first week, we'll see how that goes. It'll be funny seeing me teaching in French, but I'm looking forward to it. She has a really good class. I hope I'll have one like it eventually. I'm hoping I've finally found my calling, or at least something that I will want to do for a couple of years. Maybe I have to stop looking at my career choice as such a long term thing. That could be what freaks me out. It's okay to do s...

I'm going to a ceramic cafe today, and then later on tonight to some bar/terrasse. I'm trying to get some homework done this morning, but honestly, it is not what I want to be doing right now. The never ending pile of homework. I just too stressed out about homework and I can't fully concentrate on others things until it is done. I have tomorrow also so I should take it easy. Anyways, I went to my first funeral yesteday. I still can't get over the fact that he is just gone. It makes life seem so weird. Sitting in the church I could still hear his laugh, I could still hear his voice. We weren't even that close, but I liked him. He was a nice guy. When his younger brother gave his speech, I don't think there was anyone who didn't want to cry. His brother used to have such a crush on me when we were growing up, and now he is all grown up. His speech was really well written and delivered. He seems like a writer to me although he is in mechanical engineering. ...

I just archived all my posts from as long ago as four years ago. It's crazy to compare what I used to talk about then and the things that were important to me to my life right now. wow! I'm glad that I moved forward, I am actually pretty embarassed about some of the things I used to talk about. eeeeesh, oh well... at least I've gone ahead, moved away from some of that garbaggio. I didn't think much had changed in my life from then to now, but I was wrong.

I can't believe that I forgot alll about this journal... what happened? I liked it a lot more than my livejournal... how did i just forget about it? anyways. i'm back. At least I will try to be back. Life is busy but I will find time for this. I feel like not much has changed since my other blogs. I've grown up a little maybe, but as for my certainty in my relationship... in any relationship... I haven't figured it out.

where is this going?