The Last Day of Summer

There were something things that happened to tonight at work that I was going to write about, but to be honest, I forget most of them. The one thing I do remember is this lady who came in and was trying to buy all these things but had only like 2 dollars and something and she told me she was on welfare but needed things for the house and blah blah. She had an accent that I could barely understand but something about her made my heart hurt, I felt really bad. After about the third time of her going back and trying to find things she could afford, a man gave her another 2 dollars. I thought that was really sweet. So then she had 4 dollars and could buy soap and sponges and some cleaning stuff. She still wanted more things and I could tell she was kind of trying to see if I would give her anything. I dunno, even though I thought she was genuine, I still wondered if she was milking being on welfare for all it was worth. OH ya, the other thing I wanted to write about. Another woman, almost ...

Why do I smell the smell of being at the dentist? The drill, filings, and all that... I can smell it so vividly. I don't like the dentist's too much.

Listening to "Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own" by U2. I've been listening to this over and over for a while now, such a good song. Joan was good tonight (as usual-- I can't wait to get the season on tv) and the song actually freaking played at the end of the episode. I like that show for so many reasons but I think i found another one tonight. I dunno if Joan is like the typical teenager and that's why but man she reminds me of myself (at least tonight she really did). Too bad I caved where she didn't, but we all make our own decisions. I am happy where I am now so I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Tonight was my uncle's little bday party. I bought him another shirt for a present, heh lately I really like buying him clothes. I hung out with my cousin for most of the night. I started off by thinking what a terrible brat he was but then of course he won me over. It's completely not his fault that he is bratty but I just hope his good qua...

Man i'm so grumpy now. I was going to go to my dancing thingy tonight but I really just feel like crawling under my covers and hiding (and watching the oc) . Bad me, yes I know. I had my stats mid term today. I'm pretty upset about it. I studied so much and did so much work for that test and it was the easiest questions ever. SO much wasted time. Like the questions were things I was already answering in highschool, simple standard deviation and z scores and like mean and median. Ok well some stuff was mildly tougher but still. And the thing is, I totally fucked it up anyways. I knew it all but ok... let's start from the beginning. I was on time to get my bus but it got every fucking red light possible and went SOOO slow that i ended up being 5 minutes late for class. Then i was reading the question and I missed the one had lots of parts so I thought I had so much more time then I actually did. And so I was answering the questions and then realized I had no time and tried t...

I just had to wake up from my wonderful nap :( Someone come visit me at work today!!!! I don't wanna gooo!!!! Handed in my 12-15 page paper so that is over with. Now I just have my stats left to study for before my week long break (mid term tomorrow... essh) . Friday my class in cancelled so w0otw0ot and I only have to go in at one to work on this optional paper outline with some friends. Then no stage monday. So i only have to work on the weekend and I have allll week long to party. Ok well not really but still... at least some time to relax :D

I made my granny and aunt (and myself) dinner tonight. I know it's not really a big deal but I was kinda proud of myself. Not that I made anything fancy (italian sausage, homefries with fried onion and corn) but I still cooked something. For someone who doesn't really know how to cook and who never really does ever, it's an accomplishment. I'm going to try to do it more often. They were pretty happy and they said that they enjoyed it at least. They couldn't believe it and were like watching me the whole time in case I was going to poison and kill them by mistake, but I didn't. so yay! Maybe one day I'll cook Jesse super but I have a bit of learning to go before I try that. Today I went to a place called umm i think the Atwater market for the first time in my life, I didn't even know that it existed. Oh man... there were fruits, pasteries (sp?) and chocolate all over the place. It was kool and I went with Jesse and his mom and his mom's friend. Man it...

Perhaps one of the most interesting civilizations Alright, I'm going to try to only post once today because I have a sneaking suspicion that if I post more than once in a day, no one reads the stuff that is pushed to the bottm. Today in my anthropology class I got to watch a movie and it was on the Balinese (people from Bali, which is located in Indonesia). I was really tempted (and I mean really) to not go to class at all today but because I got to see the film, I'm glad I did. I got to class a little late, what with the random like 15 centimetres of snow we got (which reminds me... on the way home, walking with Sarah and her friend Jessica, I totally went sliding on ice and fell on my ass in front of I don't even know how many people. I laughed, they laughed, and some dude picked me up) and I sat down just as the movie was starting , at least I think it had just just started. Not many people were taking notes so i figured I didn't have to but after watching the film ...

I need a journal, I'm going to go mad if I don't get one. I think I will go and buy one tomorrow if Sarah doesn't have an extra one for me. Tonight I plan to attempt meditating (it's been soo long) and then perhaps I will try writing. I read something really good tonight and am kind of discouraged. I'll doubt I'll ever be able to write that well. It's hard to know what you want to have come out if you aren't able to bring it out. Well that sentence makes it sound like it's somewhere in me, and I'm not even sure of that anymore.

Well it's obvious what and who this song makes me think about but it's still such a good song. Drugs for me (or Drugs or Me) Stay with me You're the one I need You make the hardest things seem easy Keep my heart Somewhere drugs don't go Where the sun shines slow Always keep me close Chorus: If only you could see The stranger next to me You promise, you promise that you're done But I can't tell you from the drugs Don't let go Dig a great big hole Down and in this hole, we'll both go You're so blind You can't see me this time Hope comes from inside And I feel so low tonight Chorus I wish that you could see This face in front of me You're sorry, you swear it, you're done But I can't tell you from the drugs Take me, I need your hand So far, to pull me up Take the will out from me, so far Chorus I wish that you could see This face in front of me You're sorry, you swear it, you'r...

Hey Stranger. Coming home on the 105 today, I sat down right in front of my half brother. I didn't even realize it was him and I was going to sit somewhere else but something made me keep going. So I sat and looked over and then he was already looking at me and I realized who it was. Man, he is 18 now!!! That's crazy. It was a little sad that we both had to ask how old the other was but it was nice to talk about anything really. (Note to self: his bday is March 5th and he is gonna be 19!) Umm he was coming from a friend's and I was coming from school and he was going home to sleep and I was coming home to write a paper (I'm not jealous...). So ya, I told him that I had a boyfriend and I asked about his girlfriend, if he had one still or not. Coincidentally, both of our significant others live in Verdun. haha So we talked a little about that and he said that he is going to have to meet my boyfriend. heh I gave him a funny look and said , "oh really?" and the...

The Energy Rushes Through I went to a yoga class tonight with Katie and i felt so good afterward. Especially considering that i wasn't really feeling well going into it. Yoga makes the body feel so much better and nothing relaxes you more then the meditation at the end ... well not quite meditation but the relaxation techniques I guess. During some of the poses, i could feel the blood flowing and it's then when you can feel how your body is supposed to feel. I would love to be able to do it more often. I have a yoga video that I used to do all the time but I prefer to do it in a class because then the instructor can guide you and make sure you have the right posture. Oh and my first mid-term today, I think it went alright. We'll see when I get it back but I know for sure that I passed, at the very least. I have to get my 12-15 page paper started tomororw as well as some stats. Yay for homework. MAn I can't wait for my break from school, only two more weeks... ...

Nothing like child prodigies to make you feel entirely talentless... I just finished watching this show on channel 21 and it was crazy. There was a kid in med school at like age 13 or 14, a 14 year old soccer player with a million dollar contract with nike, who might just be the next best soccer player in the entire world (you should have seen his footwork), and a family of 5 children all accepted to julliard (sp?) who play the piano. Oh and and another child who was adding and subtracting at 12 months... I don't think i could even bloody talk at 12 months. Man... It's crazy what some people can do. Makes you really want to have your own special talent at which you can excel. I unfortunetely have yet to find one. * Laurie should be paid to make layouts. I think this is the one I love the most of all so far. (thanks Laur). Also thanks to Jeff who came up with the idea of making if possible for people to comment about the poems, i can't believe I never thought of that...

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love (song for a winter's night) There is sooo much going on in my head tonight. Soo much and strangely, i don't have the urge to write it all down. Well I do, but just not here. I'm going crazy without a real journal to write in, really crazy. I have the one from my aunt but it looks too beautiful and magickal to write anything less than perfect in. Sarah said she might give me one so that's super kool, if not i'm gonna need to go buy one asap. Is jealousy a demon or a sign of true love or perhaps both? I never considered myself a jealous person, in fact I always detested jealousy. The thing is, I think it's because I never really had a reason to feel it. Maybe I was just arrogant but I always felt like I was worth enough and had enough to offer that I had no need be jealous. I might have had it all wrong, jealousy probably isn't about that. Maybe I just never really really cared about someone enough to let mys...

I just needed to post before I get down to some homework. I have a very RARE feeling at the moment and I wanted to get it down before it goes away, which I am sure won't be too far off. I feel like I am where I am supposed to be in all sense of the phrase; relationships, school and thoughts. I'm not sure if it is the coming of the slightly warmer weather which just has me in a great mood but it's definitely something. I know soon i will be freaking out because of mid terms but right now I feel confident that I will be able to handle them. I feel confident with where I am right now, confident . Some of my friends are going through hard times right now and I think I've learned a big lesson. At least in theory I have, it will take me a whole lifetime to be able to put it into practice but I'm learning. So there is a big different between being there for someone and completely enwrapping (sp) yourself in their situation and having your mood fall in with theirs. For the ...