The Last Day of Summer

First things first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAURIE!!! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY W0ot Wo0T! Life is difficult but I am trying to make it easy. I work today, thursday and then friday. Friday will be awful, 8:15 am till 6:15 pm but whatever, that's a substantial amount of money. So meh, June 7th is my last day anyways so why not rack up the dough while it lasts? So ya, i'm trying to live simply lately. Go out with friends, chill, meet people, talk, whatever... Camp is coming up soon though so I don't really want to get into anything serious. I'm hoping that during camp I can sort a lot of shit out. Get myself back on track somehow. June 8th is doom's day, aka when I get my wisdom teeth out. I'll be sure to let everyone know how that goes. yeeeshh. I spoke to jay last night, I'm pretty sure that that relationship is going nowhere. I'm kind of sad because we did used to be really good friends. meh, life is strange so we'll see. Oh, and June 4th , party at The Loft in ...

Hi, I'm Lazy Hello. My name is Mindy , ignore what it says at the bottom of this post. I haven't posted in a long time. Today I had work, then I came home and watched a movie, it was a true story and it was sad. After that I went to the park and played soccer with some guys from work. It was fun times. They were all wearing their little shorts and shirts and kleats, I thought they would kill me.... maybe they did! :o Hopefully, I'll post for real soon and this fake post will disapear ;) Byebyes!

I can't wait to leave for camp.

I seem to be really busy all of the time now. There is never a day when I am just sitting around and being bored. I guess that is a good thing BUT if I did have one of those days, I would maybe just clean my room and that would not be a bad thing. I should go and do it now. Should being the keyword. I feel like just lounging around. I wanna get through at least half of the Terry Prachett book I am currently reading so I will go and do that soon. The Colour of Magic. (that's the book's title). Camp starts on June 26th but i'm probably going to leave a few days before that so I can get set up and everything. Well actually it all depends on who can take me down with them because I have no way to get there. I'm just thinking about my job and stuff and I hope that I remember all the rock climbing shit. I mean I'm certified or whatever but the course was only a day so ya... I might need a little memory refresher. And snorkling, I have a better plan for this year so that ...

Right Here Staind I know I�ve been mistaken But just give me a break And see the changes that I�ve made I�ve got some imperfections But how can you collect them all And throw them in my face But you always find a way To keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say To keep me right here waiting If you chose to walk away I�d still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say To keep you right here waiting I hope you�re not intending To be so condescending It�s as much as I can take And you�re so independent You just refuse to bend So I keep bending till I break But you always find a way To keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say To keep me right here waiting If you chose to walk away I�d still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say To keep you right here waiting I�ve made a commitment I�m willing to bleed for you I needed fulfillment I found what I need in you Can�t you just forgive me I don�t want to relive all the mistakes I�ve...

A post about Make-up I wear make-up sometimes but not everyday and there is a reason for that. I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Is make up cheating and making yourself look more beautiful (assuming you can put make up on alright according to whatever tastes you may have) than you really are or is it just enhancing your god given features? For some reason I either feel really good with make up on or I feel like a complete fraud. If someone thinks I am beautiful, I still want he or she thinking the same when I don't have any make up on. So that's why I don't always wear make up, because if you can't feel good enough about yourself without it than how is anyone else supposed to? I'm not sure if this makes sense or I am just way over analyzing but this is what I've been thinking about lately *ahem* loser *ahem* I know girls that won't leave their house without make up, won't let other people see what they look like without it. But you know......

I just woke up from very messed up dreams. One thing in particular happens to be and I always get scared. This time I only dreamt about it happening instead of it actually happening but it's just as frightening. It is like I feel that I should wake up, and I just can't. I have to sit there for like 5 minutes (which seems like more than an eternity while it is happening) trying to force my eyes open, trying to move. The first time it happened I remember trying to scream and not being able to. This morning I dreamed that the same guy that killed my aunt's daughter was in the house. I knew bad stuff was going on, actually I was also in the kitchen in the dream. Ya, i was two places at once. I was in the kitchen and I think that I was going to kill him this time and his lover (which was a dude) was begging me not too. WOAH it's really fucked up. He was telling me that he didn't want to look after five kids alone and stuff. so ya... at the same time I could see my granny...

Waste I don't even know what to write... If you wanna overdose on drugs, don't waste the hospital's time... But then again, maybe it is a legitimate sickness. You're too weak to be able to resist taking drugs. Weak weak weak. That's all I think about her. I could see her lying in the bed, from far away with all those machines around her. She wasn't hooked up to any of them. The nurse came in and said she was awake and was going to be okay. Maybe just get her stomach pumped at least that's what i think antiviral whatever whatever meant. I think I must be really rotten because part of me hoped that she was dying. I think life would be easier for everyone that way. She's just a waste of space. I sound so cold, I can't help it. I wanted to go into the room and say goodbye for the last time, I really did. I thought I would see her life slipping away in front of me and I dunno... maybe shed a few tears but I'd be relieved mostly. God maybe I am more li...

I was supposed to work tonight, they called me in. i just got a phone call that my mother is in the emergency room and not breathing on her own. I'm going to go to the hospital with my granny because I'm not going to let her go alone. Fuck, she probably overdosed or tried to kill herself or something... not the first time for either. (my mother, not my granny obviously). I'm like shaking... It might not even be true.

Mourning This Loss (after so long) Look at me again WIth that smile The one that Only you can give It is still so familiar I will always know it That half mischievious grin Reaching all the way up to your eyes It is so clear Imprinted in my mind Only I don't see it In front of me anymore Parts of you still linger But all of you must leave Because I simply cannot Go on living like this My thoughts come back to you My favorite band, Style, kiss, look, and laugh All come back to you I thought maybe It could be like before I made the effort I guess just not soon enough The door is closed and locked down I'm on the outside now And believe me when I say It's bloody cold out here It is not healthy To be living in the past So this will be the last Poem I will write of you I lost you long ago And it's just fucked that I still think of you I Miss You "How do you do it Make me feel like I do"? I think I might love you And now I'll say good-bye.

It's incredible how songs sometimes can express exactly the way you are feeling... Runaway Train by: Soul Asylum Call you up in the middle of the night Like a firefly without a light You were there like a blow torch burnin I was a key that could use a little turnin So tired that I couldn't even sleep So many secrets I couldn't keep Promised myself I wouldn't weep One more promise I couldn't keep It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep There's no way out This time I have really led myself astray Chorus Runaway train never goin back Wrong way on a one way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there Can you help me remember how to smile Make it somehow all seem worthwhile How on earth did I get so jaded Life's mystery seems so faded I can go where no one else can go I know what no one else knows Here I am just drownin' in the rain With a ticket for a runaway train And Everything seems cut and dry Day an...

Just thinking (as usual) Who knows if I am doing what i am "supposed" to be doing or even if the path i am trying to find for myself even exists in the first place? Maybe I should just be doing what I WANT to be doing. The only thing is, I am too scared. I want to be in California right now or Hawaii... or just some place else. I want to be on a magazine cover for something. I want to be famous... well maybe. The thing is, i don't really know what I want... i just know that I want something. I was at work today and one of the older cashiers there (one of the two dude cashiers) was putting the magasines back all pretty and he came over to my cash. He was tolding a vogue magasine with a pretty chick on the cover and he said "this could be you". And I said "ya right!". and then he said, "why not, you are young". And it's true, why not, I am young. Then he proceded to tell me that I should have four boyfriends instead of none but I don'...

La Isla Bonita i wannnnnnaaa go on vacation! heh I like this song by Madonna. I have a friend, I won't name names (*cough* Jess *cough*) that used to think that the words to the song were "last night I dreamt of some bagels" instead of "last night i dreamt of san pedro" muhaaha! So ladies and gentlemen, it is time for me to face the music. Two things. One is making the appointment for my wisdom teeth, which I shouldn't put off any longer and the second is talking about the grades I got this year in university, which I have also been putting off as much as possible. I feel robbed about this semester. I can't really explain it but it feels like I put a lot more effort in to things then I got back. So this are my grades... Semester 1: Medical Anthropology: B Greek Mythology: B+ Economics of the Environment: A- Introduction to Social Work: A Public Social Services in Canada: A Semester 2: Anthropology of Development: B Introduction to African History: B+...

W0ot Wo0t! The highlight of my day was that I got to leave work early. It's the first time they let me do that and even if it was only by like 20 minutes i don't care, it was awesome. I can't believe the incredible weather we are having lately, i LOVE it! I've come to the conclusion that once my life stabilizes a little, if ever, (meaning steady job and boyfriend and yadda yadda) I will move to some place warm like Cali or some tropical island. The weather really impacts how I feel sooo ya, i can't stay and be miserable for most of the year with those long terrible winters we have. The thing is... I don't really want to go alone so... I have to convince like all of my friends to move with me. :D good luck to me. I'm gonna have some mini pizzas for supper, yes! Then I think i'll go to laur's for a bit afterwards and watch a movie and eat popcorn. How i love my popcorn. yep yep. Last night I played pool with sarita, diego, alex and guilio, it was fun...

Interesting day Sarah and I finally made it to the Egyptian exhibition at the museum today. It cost 7 something, geez louise BUT i have to say it was helpful because i was able to answer a question in jeopardy tonight because of our tour ;) W0ot wo0t! After we looked around the musuem, i bought a poster of this piece of artwork by Appia , I think that is the artist's name at least. For some reason I was just drawn to it. It's these two girls and you can see them but they have no bodies, the background makes it look like they do though. It's pretty intriguing to me at least. I almost bought one by Renoir also but I figured, one at a time because I'll need to find place in my room for them. I'm going to try to give it a better clean up tomorrow along with making my appointment to get my wisdom teeth out *cries*. Another highlight of my day was getting to watch Sarah try to take out her new contacts. Heh I remember how much trouble I had with that at the beginning. ...

My first sick day I should be at work right now. Today I called in sick. I work up this morning and my throat was really killing me as it was last night. Granted I should not have stayed out till two in the morning but still... i have to leave my house at 6 AM tomorrow morning to work for camp soooo... I just can't do it all. Hopefully next week I get less hours at work. I thought that once school was over I would have all this free time to go out and see my friends and go wild BUT the truth is , I don't have time to do much, including get enough sleep. So ya, i need less hours. AND i have to make my decision about camp. I don't know whether to stay in the city this summer or go for the last year that is left at camp. I love camp, everyone knows that but maybe the same routine will be too much for me this year. Maybe I would have a better time in the city... Who knows. It's sooo nice outside today tho that I am kind of excited to be going to camp tomorrow even tho it wi...

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