Here's a Toast to New Beginnings This time I am going to stay single and I am going to enjoy myself. I'm not going to move in with a man, I'm not going to get tied down in anyway. And, most importantly I'm not gonna suffer for love any more. Love will be without strings and it may come and goes as it pleases. What was that line from Vicky Christina Barcelona? Love is most beautiful when it cannot be fulfilled. Something like that. I guess because then you do not get to the stage where you get disappointed and realize that you've tried so hard for nothing. You probably shouldn't have to try so hard for love. It should take work and compromise but I do not think it should be so hard or it should make you so miserable. To tell the truth, I love the opportunity to start over and for everything to be fresh again. I'm going to be almost like a full-time teacher for all of next year, so I definitely don't need this kind of stress or drama. It's done. And wh...
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So today was my 5th time swimming since the beginning of summer. :D !!! Three out of those 5 times have been with Laurie and 3 have been with Carlos, once by myself but it was kinda sad and boring. I'm just chilling here with Noelle. My boyfriend was supposed to be back around 9:30-10:00 but low and behold, he's late! Il y a quoi de neuf? (or is it neuve... French is tricky tricky.. esp. slangy kinda French). Well well tomorrow morning I am babysitting, and other than that, prolly just house cleaning. Carlos' parents are coming in on Wednesday. Gotta get the house clean by then. So now that I've finished Diner Dash 2, I'm not sure what to do with my time alone here. I get bored. The weird thing is that as an only child, raised by her grandma and aunt... I never used to get bored. I was very good at amusing myself. Videogames, reading, writing, studying, making stuff... But ever since I started having roomates, I kinda of became dependent on having other people amus...
I had bizarre dreams last night. I can't remember them all anymore. But I was living in a room in Marcus' house at one point and then I got kicked out. Well I didn't really get kicked out but we were having differences and I couldn't stay there anymore... After that and talking to Sarah, I ran for the forest. I crossed a bridge where a snake slithered over me and just seemed really ominous. I hung around for a bit while I was too afraid to move. Next, I continued running and came to some like basball field type of thing within the forest. It was fenced like usual but the fencing went up really high. I kept running but for run reason I started to run along the perimeter of the fence. Next thing I hear people yelling and I see it. A big mother freaking bear!!! A beast of a bear. And it comes for me. And I think it hits me with a paw and I go flying. It comes back for me but somehow people get it restrained and I'm just lying there, really scared. ummm I don't reme...
I think that I will go today to apply to work at Le Melange Magic for the summer. I've always thought about it and I'm sure I would get to learn a lot. I should have worked there a long time ago. Plus the bus from my house would take me almost right there and then back home again. I hope they are looking for someone. If not, I'm not sure what I would like to do this summer at all. I would love to spend time outside, that's for sure. I wonder if I could be a gardener or something.
There Ain't No Coming Back I've bled my heart out I've tried to tell you But you wouldn't listen You repeatedly put a bandaid Over an ever growing hurt And now we stand divided Distant You pushed and you pushed Did what you wanted And now you lost it My heart found the latch And it stop hesitating You will want it back Once you realize it's gone It always happens like that But it won't come back It never comes back Not for me anyways One too many recoveries already And now it's flat-lining
I'm too young to feel this old I'm always confused. Thinking about the "what ifs" and that "could have beens". I don't know if everyone else feels the opportunity cost to the same degree. Maybe I just never know exactly what I want so I want to pursue everything in case I make a mistake or take a wrong path. I'm not sure if that is any way to live. I guess the solution is to get in better touch with myself and figure out what it is that I truly want. Sometimes I feel like I should go purely on my intuition and other times I see that it wasn't really my intuition but just how I felt or what I wanted in that particular moment in time. I'm so terrified of making a mistake. Especially a big one. The big one. On a side note, I downloaded Diner Dash 2 and I'm going crazy on it. My god it's an addictive game. I don't know why I love it so much. I can't believe they came out with a second one. I wouldn't have known at all if it wa...
I did HOT Yoga today (Moksha) and let me tell you, was it ever hot!!! HOly moly. I was actually dripping!!! Sweat just rolls off you, it's rediculous. Afterwards you feel amazing though, wow! I think it must be a great way to lose weight. We did an ab work out and a half too. Maybe I will shape up in time for the beach! I'm going to try to go to hot yoga at least once a week. It's also awesome that my bf's sis is the instructor!!
Bah, my nose feels soooo crusty! I hate being sick. I'm at work right now wondering if I should go and make some tea. Problem is that I still have that toothpaste taste in my mouth, and that does not mix well with tea. Blehh, not at all! I had soo many dreams last night, I can't even begin to remember them all. One of them though featured a bunch of us in a car with something chasing us, that would pretty much chase us forever. We went on this super highway and it was fast, really really fast. We went over these like power-up things like in mariokart and it felt like flying. That was the fun part of the dream but the rest was pretty suspenseful and scary. I had lots of other dreams too but I can't remember enough about them to talk about. I think that I may have had a fever and so that would explain all the crazy dreaming. My horoscope this morning told me to try to pay attention to my dreams and my wandering thoughts... I want to go on a trip. I would really like to go to...
I might just keep this up all summer. Screw finding a real job! I'm getting all these random jobs here and there. I babysat this morning and made a killing!! Granted it was at the ungodly hour of 5 30 am but still!!! And Sarah might be hooking me up again to be a reader at her school which is a pretty sweet deal as well! So far sooo good! I need a nap. It's 11 am and I've already been up for 6 hours!