man... i miss my friend. I miss how simple life used to be. I miss camp.
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this wind is love the only caress the only answer a lover all my own and everyone else's it moves me almost to tears definitely to love Love love love that is it's whisper every summer it returns it may leave for a while but it always comes back it will always come back because of you and only you I live i let it in i am i am i am The only time, The only season Everything to me
Lately I feel as though my life is a book or a movie. I'm watching it from a distance but it's not really me. Maybe it's because things feel a lil more relaxed right now than they did... But actually they are still kinda stressful. I feel like there are more friends/love interests/ people then I can deal with and I'm just starting my new job and there are A LOT of kids... So i'm going through all of the motions but I'm not super involved in any specific one. and i dunno it's like time isn't existing for me right now either. One day just leads into the next , and the next. And i'm not following any normal sleep schedule. but you know what? Sometimes I am really happy. so I guess I will just go with it. I've been playing lots of guitar hero as well. ha ha alright well if I'm cracking up... you've all been warned.. hehe naaaw i'm really okay. it's just an odd time in my life.
So I think I made a new friend and that makes me really happy. Not just an acquaintance or whatever, but someone I would actually like to chill with on a regular basis. She's fuckin funny. Too bad she is leaving to Europe soon and will be gone for the summer... Oh well, still, it's pretty kool. So right now I'm at work at the Atwater club but I'm doing work for my Les Amis job. I've so far planned 5 of the 8 weeks. I really hate planning but I think I have a lot of good ideas and the summer should be really fun. Plus it's good to have it all done and then not have to stress about what to do with the kids everyday. I'll know and I can change it up whenever I want to. I think that I'm actually going to really like this summer job, plus the working in the park on tuesdays for cultural events. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to get to do face painting. W0ot Wo0t! Last night the new friend, aka Kuki, slept over and I don't think any of us got ...
Man, whenever I am starting a new job, I get sooo nervous. I don't know what it is but since about 5:15 am I haven't been able to sleep. hahah I like to laugh at myself a little bit because there is really nothing I have to be nervous about. I'm just weird like that. But I can tell when I'm nervous because I wake up WAAAY before I have to and then i look at the clock about every 10-15 minutes. Quite annoying actually... Anyways, hopefully everything goes well and I'll get all my nervousness over with :D hahah
So I think I'm over my fever. It's sooo hot here tho so it's hard to tell what is just the weather and what is fever. I slept well last night, I should have slept for longer, but at least it was a good sleep. I'm at work, no kids here and i forgot my book. I need to find something to amuse myself with. I suppose I will start planning stuff for the summer. I can't wait to go swimming!!! Some time this week for sure!!! Montreal West pool is open at least. Benny takes a long ass time to open and is one of the first to close. So swimming soon and the first fireworks are on June 21 Wo0t W0ot! It's France. For sure I'm going to go. I love summer. Yesterday I read my book on a towel in the park. Got a little sun. There was some creepy dude around though so I cut my stay a little short. I fucking hate creepy people. hatred. do do do man! i have so much that I want to write about but not for public viewing.. oh well... I will just keep going over stuff in my head.
I saw M.I.A. last nite! It was fuckin awesome!!! It was even more awesome because I had almost given up but I decided last minute to just go down and give it a shot. We got down there, found a scalper and got tickets! Okay so i paid about double the price for them but man it was worth it. And it was the turning of sarah's bday.. so what better way to begin then at an awesome show :D Other areas of my life are kind of screwed up at the moment but.. it's nice outside :)
My aunt told me that I am in love with the idea of being in love. She is right, undoubtely. And knowing this, I'm not sure what I can do. I suppose I have to get from loving the idea to actually working on creating love/ making it flourish within and around myself. I will spend my life trying to and hopefully succeeding in doing this. oh... and I liked the movie very much.
This song just came on the radio that makes me sad. umm phil collins, another day in paradise. Why can't the dude just help her? :( So things are slowing down a little until June 16 when I start full-time. I'm excited and not excited all at the same time. I went to pick up M.I.A. tickets last nite and the show was sold out. That sucks ballz... but I mean I'm glad that she's gotten that much more of an audience in Montreal now. Still, it was the only thing that I have let myself look forward to in a while.. Last night I hung out with Marcus and I tried to learn how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. I always come so freaking close and then I lose it. One day tho... I will master the skill :) So I don't forsee any kids coming in today so I may just watch blood and chocolate on my laptop. Apparently it is a good movie. Sarah's daddy told me so. :) "tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make u feel beautiful" I love ...