The Last Day of Summer

I'm not sure if I am disappointed in or proud of myself... I've always considered myself a feminist. I believe that men and women should receive equal rights and respect. I spent a lot of time growing up with guys and I refused to do anything that was traditionally female, such as be a wife, have kids, cook, etc. etc. Now my values have all turned around and I'm feeling a little unsure about where I stand. I think one of my problems was believing that non-traditional women roles were somehow more important than the traditional ones. I no longer believe that. ?They are not. I believe that having and raising children is possibly the best/more wonderful thing you could do. I want to have children. I quite possibly even want to get married (although not ever in a church). (Have a been brain-washed? have my natural female/maternal hormones kicked in? Am i being courageous or cowardly in changing my view?) I've become social worker and a teacher... female-dominated,...

It feels and looks like it is so beautiful outside today. I think that I am going to go and do my studying in the park today. I love this weather! I had my interview yesterday for the snotty club. My boss actually seems pretty nice. I start training next week! She said I was a shoo in (shoe in?). So yay, every shift comes with a meal, how sweet is that? It'll be a good job to have while I am in school. Another 2 years of school and then that's it. Knowing me, I will prolly decide after I graduate that my true calling is to become a nurse or something... but until then, things are feeling pretty good! My cat is crazy and she seriously does chin-ups in my window. She also goes on the prowl and hunts spiders so that is kinda kool. One less spider for me to swallow in my sleep. (you know that statistic that each person swallows about 8 spiders annually or something...) I feel so free lately and I love it! Today I have work but only at 3:15 so until then I am free. I...

I'm going to ride a bike to work today. I'm sooo excited!! :D

So I think that my friends are going to help me start a professional site to bring some attention to my poetry (mostly Laurie, but also Andrew). I'm shy, but I'm also really interested in the idea. I would love it so much if people got to see what I write about and thought it was worth something. My heart is actually beating faster because of the whole idea. Forget about the idea of making some money, which is definitely kool, but imagine lots of people actually reading the stuff I write. Makes me very excited, but also pretty nervous and shy. Who knows if anything I write is actually good, but then who knows what good actually is. As long as someone likes something, I guess that makes it good to them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so therefore the beholder can define beauty. I won't talk about how I reached that conclusion... hehe but thanks to Sarah for that one. :D Wow this could be really kool. I just hope I don't become some like website hoe...

I keep getting job offerings... I like this. :D I'm a substitute for a daycare now whenever they need and I'm going to start working for this high end gym looking after kids while their parents work out. Which is kool because after a while, I get a free gym membership Wo0t W0ot!! Plus, sometimes there are no kids so I will be able to get homework done, if I keep the job while I'm in school. Pretty sweet! I don't know if I am going to renew my lifeguard stuff... I don't really want to guard anymore.. but I guess it is always an asset... so maybe i should. bah.. So i'm pretty set jobwise until the end of june. maybe then I will apply at air canada.. or maybe i'll just be a bum and take the summer off. How freakin' sweet would that be? I don't think I could afford it... and I would actually probably get bored... but still.. it's a nice thought!

I hope I hope I hope

"It's not going to stop until you wise up"

The weather gets nice (sunny) and it's like bam, instant happiness for me. I don't think that will ever change. I wonder if I would be happier living some place where the summer lasts longer. Or where they do not have winter. I think that I probably would. Although maybe having such a short summer here makes me appreciate it all the more. I love, love, love it. I have about 6 days left of classes. Amazing! What am I going to do when they are over? I feel like I should just lie in the sun everyday. I guess that I will apply for a full-time job from May until August. I've been offered a job at the YMCA downtown because the pool at the YWCA closed, but I'm not sure if I want to lifeguard anymore. If I do, I think I would much rather lifeguard outdoors. But if I do take at least one shift, I get a free membership to the gym so... that could be very beneficial for me. I think that I will try to get one or guarding shifts the the Y here in NDG, that way it would be much clos...