The Last Day of Summer

A Longer Blog I have a lot to write about. Lately I've been reflecting on how much I hate the values of the western world and probably those of many other parts. I wouldn't mind giving it all up to go and live in the country, have my own garden and have a field to lie on in the summer where I could fall asleep under the stars. The city repulses me, the crowds, the pollution, the fashion... basically everything about it. I have been inspired by Gary Snyder (yes another poet) who was very much into zen and lived in the country where he only relied on himself and his family, had electricity generating from a stream and had heat based on solar power. If only the whole world were environmentalists like he was. I think I am one. Do you know that there has successfully been battery operated or solar power cars made but that they aren't selling because they cannot make as much of a profit as the shit box pollutants that everyone travels in today? Well there has! Do you know that...

Life Sucks! I find it really funny how humans (could just be me) are so stupid. If they feel crappy one day, it'll seem like the whole world is ending. Personally I am sick and tired of hearing about other peoples problems. I really am, I don't care anymore. It is probably just a thing for today and tomorrow I will probably care again. But, today I am definetely not in the mood. This whole weekend has been pretty shitty in general. I had an ok time at steve's house on friday tho. I don't know what I can do tonight to improve how I feel. Maybe I should hang out with some friends however, i don't know if that would work because most of them are just pissing me off. I am not even about to get my period or anything. Not that that is extremely relevant anyways because most of the time I can just use that as an excuse for being upset. I think it is bullshit and that having your period doesn't give you an excuse to become emotionally retarded. I am eating peanut b...

Back to Where I Started I am going to start my day off with yoga today but figured I should just post first. You guys should visit Paris and Starr's website, it is rather interesting ;) I feel so tired so hopefully my trusted yoga will wake me up. It is true that yoga improves your sex life? lol Last night I had fun at my friend steve's house, it is sad to know how much I like boardgames. hahah Today I am probably going swimming and I'm definetly going to my friend Michelle's for movie night with some other people. I guess I will leave poor sunday for all of my homework, so much for the day of rest. Not that I am really christian anyways... I feel so incompetant, I do not know how to design a new layout. I would like to learn tho so I guess I'll just be experimenting around for a while. The thing is that I am kinda in love with my current layout and I don't know if I'm really for a change anyways. Boo to creatures of habbit. I don't want to be...

'Cause we all know that conceptual abstraction makes sense Oh boy, I had a gym test and did I ever screw things up. I put an answer of conceptual abstraction when the real answer was abstract conceptualization or something like what. Oh well... my final dance which is worth 35% of my grade had better be damn good. Today there was spanish dancing going on in the lower atrium and did it looked good. I love those traditional skirts and stuff. I love dancing so it all makes sense. I spoke to the "secret admirer" last night and he said that he regrets what he has done and he isn't going to talk to me anymore or e-mail me... so there end the saga I guess. Funny how I just chose to use the word saga because I often seen it used the same way, when in real life I truly don't know what a saga is exactly. Meh. Tonight I think will be my night to relax if all goes well because I don't have much homework and nothing is really on tv that is of interest to me tonig...

The "Secret Admirer" Saga Well finally I have something interesting happening and something I can write about. I supposedly have a secret admirer, which is kinda kool. I'll post up the e-mail I received, but it is not to embarasse this person or whatever. And, if I ever do eventually find out who it is, I will not post it up here. I just thought I should bring you all along for the ride... Here is how it began; I saw that someone had added me to their msn list and there e-mail was adores_melinda@hotmail.com (feel free to communicate with this person if you'd like to be a dectective) and this of course made me a little curious and uneasy at the same time. So i wrote them asking who it was and all and this is what I got back: Hello Melinda I am sorry but I can not tell you who I am for that is not the point of a ''secret admirer.'' But I dont't want you to think that I am a stalker for I am not. I am just a friend that happens to like you a lot ...

Yay for New Pics Today, it being Tuesday and all, I went over to Laurie's house. With her help, I scanned a whole bunch of new pictures and put them up. Hurrah! Now I have baby pictures also like I wanted. The cutest one of them all is not here because my evil highschool kept it ! (angry face here) Oh well, life goes on. This friday I am going to Steve's house for a little bday celebration and then on saturday I am going swimming and then to Michelle's house for movie night. Yay should be pretty fun. We are going to watch 8 mile and umm triple XXX I think. I've seen the first but not the second. I have a message to Shaun from Michelle also... "don't let the dog come" or something like that. So there you go Shaun, you're welcome Michelle. Ack... my phone just rang but in a whole bunch of different pitches, freaky stuff. Right so I've got to go read some psychology now, peace!

The Single Swing of Things Being single is a complete different lifestyle; I'm not sure if I have quite ajusted yet. Man... I want to vote for Raphael but my computer will never let me, what is going on? There is a limit of one vote per day but I have not voted in about two weeks... There are not enough Red Turtle supporters, how sad! I tried to get my english essay done on Sunday since it was due this thursday but since the teacher has now given the class an extension, I feel like I wasted a whole day. meh... at least it is done and I can just revise it now. I feel pretty passionate about the whole feminist subject and Adrienne Rich but I just don't feel that I have written a good essay. It is hard to be motivated to go back and start something completely over, so I am not going to. I really want to see the movie Bowling for Columbine, I've heard a lot of good stuff about the creater. I saw a good movie in english class the other day... too bad I do not remember th...

Mountain Pose I'm proud of myself for today. I did about half of my english essay and I did an hour of yoga. It is about time. I love how I feel afterwards, it's great. Some poses are super hard for me while others are quite easy. I'll have to get Laur to give it a try sometime. muhahahaha I'm going to attempt to finish the essay and then do some psychology. People, I really need new suggestions for my site, so feel free please... there is a box right next to this.... use it. I want to make a movie. THis summer I hope we can make a few, it would be really good (camp people). woo hoo! Right... so... so much for a quick and essay war. I don't like the idea of people being captured and tortured... it is really terrible. Respect the geneva agreement! I think that is what it is called. Oh and if anyone knows some god quizzes just let me know.

Good Realization My site does say an awful lot about me I just realize. Today I had a job interview and the interviewers (also friends) knew everything about me from my site. I work at a summer camp and the interview was basically to see who will be headlifeguard. I won't know for some time. I hope I said some good stuff. Interviews are kind of nerve racking. I wasn't nervous about this one tho at all because I didn't expect it to be too serious but then I got asked all these important questions. Oh well at least I answered them well enough on the spot. Pawl and Laurita are coming to my house now so I have to try and clean my room up a bit. I can do a good job sometimes but other times it just continues to look like a disaster zone. Meh... oh well. They are going to make chicken nuggets for me... I cannot cook by the way. hehehe If I ever get married... i hope my husband will be a chef.

Just when I get Settled. Spinlefendor is closing. sniff sniff... now this whole page has to be moved somewhere else... I barely got this page going and now i have to figure out how to switch it all. At least Laur is there to help me. Wheph. I think this guy named Frode is going to host me now, that is very sweet. School went well today however I was supposed to meet a guy to get a book back which I lent him and I forgot to be there. I can never remember to meet people... jeez. I have a test on the subject to so i really need to find him. Oh well. Tonight I have a party to go to. I hope that it will be fun... why not tho... I'll just make it fun. SUPRISE!... it is a suprise party.

I Made It! Wheph... I got my psychology assignment done is just one night. I am a star... I remember who told me that once. Wow... everything I write still seems so trivial. STOP BLOWING PPL UP PRESIDENT BUSH! Well there, at least that felt like an important thing to say. It is terrible how they don't even show what is happening but portray the bombing just like little wee flames. I hope everyone realized that real people are actually dying right now. grr. Right so back to me... or rather not. I can't write. Screw it... I'm going to a suprise party tomorrow... people are dying somewhere else. What am I supposed to do? Well a good point is that there are always things going on Melinda... always. How can you shut your eyes to certain things but keep them open to other. Maybe i just don't hear about other things as much but man... this human race is not so caring.

Vote Mindy for Queen I was all set to write about my day (which was pretty nice and fun) but then I hear about how there might be war within the next few hours or how people are dying right as we speak and everything seems to irrelevant all of a sudden. What can I possible say that can compare to any of that... not that I want to compare but what can I say that can really be meaningful while everything else is still going on. Carpe deum... or however you say live life to the fullest in latin.... How can I do any of that when all this shit is happening? It is disgusting on one hand to walk into cegep and hear people talking about crap like the opposite sex or about their clothes or hair but at the same time... we do still have to move on with life and not just concentrate on all the bad things happening. The only fit decision I can see is to have me made queen of the world and to get rid of all the stupid goverment regimes currently in effect. Why not? I can assure you I'd do a ...

Dawning of a New Day Something about today... I can feel it. Today is going to be a good day. Laurie is coming over today to help me learn how to work some things on my site. Yes, I happen to be a slow learner, ok... so what? It is the famous tuesday where I have only one class. It is the greatest thing ever. I am going to try to get two of my assignments done today because if not, I'm screwed. Social science is pretty easy until you get an essay due for every single freaking class and even a test and assignment in gym. Alright enough of that. Today is a beautiful day and I'm going to take a shower and then go stand on the balcony because I have a pretty nice view from up here... 6th floor. Hope everyone has an amazing day. * Correction... I have to go to laurie's house because she is a lazy ass. Not fair! Update Laurie isn't a lazy ass anymore, she ended up coming over. I almost didn't make it home because I could not get off that bus... The bus driv...

Cough Cough, Sniffle Sniffle, ACHOO! Well aren't cold always invigurating? I really think so... Bah! I had such a coughing fit in class while a poetry listening of Lawrence Ferlinghetti was going on in class that I had to walk out in the middle of it. I am getting stressed now because all the essays seem to have piled up at once, yet here I am writing on here. I haven't done yoga in a really long time so I should get on that also. Being single for the first time in 3 years is scary.

It's Been A While I am feeling pretty good today. The sun is shinning, I went to the doctor and I don't have strept throat, I got all this amazing food at the supermarket and I may even venture down to the parade. Hurray! I will shower first so I can at least smell fresh and not infect poeple with my little germs. The tagboard seems to be working nicely and I can tell that people actually look at my page which is pretty kool. I drew a picture for a girl named Abby last night and maybe I'll make it a regular section to my site... my artwork... hahah it was a pic of a bird pooping on poor little Laurie Just a joke tho... ;)

Strept Throat Anyone? Alright... so obviously I don't feel great but I am getting by. I went to a party on Friday and surprisingly, had an ok time. Met some people. One reminded me of I guy I met at camp once. It was a pretty kool little party and they were nice people. Today however, I woke up with an extremely sore throat. When I got home, I thought "I know this Feeling" and yes of course, strept throat is going around. I didn't even kiss anyone to get it. Wonderful. Meh I will live. No going out tonight or parade tomorrow for me. I would like to know what people think I should add on to this site? It is hard to come up with new and original ideas. I would like to add something about wicca to my site but have another page open up... only problem is, I don't know how to do that yet... yay for incompetent website people!!! ;)

The End To a Beautiful Thing Last night was the end to a three year long relationship. My boyfriend and I broke up last night. I love him so much, I really do but I could not handle it anymore. I felt like I was losing myself and my independence and plus it has been so long and I just don't think I am ready for that kind of commitment yet. I feel so terrible, actually I can't even feel terrible anymore... I feel void. There is nothing inside of me today... nothing. I guess there will not be for a while but I know it will just take time. I'm not even so much worried about myself as I am worried about him. I will always love him...always. I just can't do it now and I need time to re-find myself and to get reconnected. Hopefully this is right and things will work out for the both of us in the end. He is such a nice guy and I am such an ass... i just wish I could feel like I used to.

Penis Penis Penis PeNiS PENIS Well today was certainly one of my more interesting days. It all started with the graffiti of my body in the caf. Actually back track a little... it all started with the fact that recently women are giving me "the look" more than guys... (Back to the caf) Laurie and Michelle thought it would be fun to write on me and then I said "No wonder girls hit on me... with feminen names all over me" and that just started it all off... They all ended up writing crazying things all over my arms and hands, why i let them, who knows? So finally Peter took it to the next level and actually drew a penis on my hand... I tried washing everything off in the bathroom before class but nope... nothing would come off. I was wearing a skirt and had to resort to wearing a sweater over half of me in class so no one would see the penis. haha so many ppl asked me why i had one on my hand. I felt so stupid. Anyway moving on... I was wearing a skirt...

Watch Time Fly How I love tuesdays and only having one class. Seems like a ritual that I always go to Laurita's before class. ;) Anywho, she is gonna help me to put up a new section for my tattoo and piercings, should be fun, not that I have many or anything. Anyway I just wanted to encourage people to send me an e-mail with a pic of their tattoo(s), if any, because I would also like to put up a section with everyone else's work. I really like tattoos although I don't think I will get anymore than two so I would like to put up pics of other ones. Right... so send me some stuff. Adios

Where's the Warmth? It seems like I am doomed to be forever cold. What is wrong with me and when will my summer come? I'm going to Florida in April with my best bus Laurie (hopefully) so if I do not get warm there I might actually consider going to the doctor. I wonder why people fear hospitals so much? Mainly because people die i guess & seem to come out with more wrong with them than they went in with. Sooo cold. Umm alright so right now I am getting into meditation and if anyone has some tips or anything of the sort, please write to me in the guestbook or in an e-mail. Gotta go warm up with a shower... hopefully at least.

What A Beauty I hope you all have enjoyed the lovely picture Laurie took the priviledge of putting up for me, isn't it just beautiful? No one answer that question please, I know it is pretty bad. Oh well why not? I look crappy sometimes and why not be truthful with the rest of the world? This weekend went by too quickly again but at least it was well spent. I can't even remember what I did on friday but I know I had a good time. Oh yeah I had three of my girl friends over and we talked about a lot of thing. Thanks to Katie, Sarah, and Tiffany for keeping me entertained and making me feel happy like I haven't been in a while. We all have to get together more often. I'm gonna try to get up some pics of my friends (other than what I have now) because they are funny looking. hehehe just kidding. I just got home from laurie's, we were trying to pull off the "night before the test cramming" and hopefully it'll turn out nice tomorrow. I have to go fin...

SNAP PANTS! Man... back at camp my head lifeguard used to always do this thing were he would yell "snap pants!!!" and then rip off my snap pants... not infront of the kids or anything but lots of times in front of the staff. So anyway my little cousin was over again today and he just snapped off my side pant leg completely and then had a laughing fit. Geez!!! LOL I should learn to wear shorts under them but it just isn't as comfortable. :( Tomorrow is psychology... I have so much homework to do tonight but oh well, it is the weekend soon. Survivor isn't on and my people are just listening to prez Bust ramble on and on. Blah blah blah. Tomorrow I'm going to have bubble tea!!! yay! (for those of you who have not had it... it is like any fruit juice you want with these huge gummy bubbles inside that suck up through your straw... it's more fun to drink than anything)

hahaha ok either people are screwing around with my head or my counter little machine is broken. 29 poeple? Yeah right. hahaha Meh it's alright, I will pretend I am web queen for a day, really... I don't mind. :)

Do My Eyes Deceive me? Woah, can there really be 19 people on my little site? That is pretty nice but a little bit scary at the same time. I just got home from seeing the Jungle Book 2 (really good btw) with my granny and little cousin Tyler. What a cute kid he is, how looks can be deceiving ;) He is such a brat... well no, he is a sweet kid but just a brat sometimes, for example when he punches me in the boob. Thanks kid. So today there was no classes supposedly because we voted to strike against the war. I voted yes, although I don't think president Bush will care moch about it. I showed up early for the demonstration but it figures that only 4 people would be there. I guess an anti-war statement is just as good an excuse as any for kids to get the day off of school. It's a sad world sometimes. Hmmm on the bright side, I got a private guestbook signing and it made me happy. Thanks person who may want to remain anonymous (disregard my terrible spelling), it was sweet...

The Results Today we got our economics tests back. I received a 91 and my little apprentice received an 83, should I have a problem with this I don't know. He said "man next next I am so sitting beside you" and then of course he went on with the Goddess stuff again. It is sad how easily I blush even when I don't really want to. In english class today we were reading Dylan Thomas... it all sort of depressed me although I'm sure when I listen to him with his welsh accent and all, it will all be better. The fear of death is always there though I guess, no matter what we do. On the bright side tomorrow I am going to go shopping for some new pants. That isn't really the real bright side... shopping makes me cranky. If I find nice ones I will at least be happy. I just can't stand my pants now... all either really tight or really loose, I want something in between.

Who am I? This weekend seemed to go by so fast, much like every other one does. Right now my life seems to stagnant. I didn't really do that much although I didn't have that bad of a time. I guess I've just had a strong feeling of melancholy that has been lasting a while. I was trying to figure out who I am and I still don't even know. What makes me unique or worth anyone's while, I know there must be something but sometimes I do no see it. I wish I could feel strong and secure in knowing myself completely but I still don't. This is all a little scary at the same time because I had my tarot cards read by a girl at school one day and she warned me about finding myself and that if I didn't the results wouldn't be good. How can I find myself tho, can someone tell me? Who am I, shouldn't I know myself above anyone else? I read tarot cards myself, I'm actually getting pretty good and I don't normally trust others doing it for money but what thi...