Got To Counter the Streak
So things haven't been going to great for me in the past while and I am choosing to call it a streak of bad luck. It could be a million other things but let's just call it that. I just painted my nails and if I F them up by typing I'll be sooo pissed. I should be used to it because no matter what I always F one of them up. I tried to take a pic of them in my cam but the lighting in this room is terrible and so I just ended up taking some kinda trippy pic.
The hotel party was alright. There are a lot of things that I would like to say about what went on there but I cannot because it isn't only my eyes on this screen. Lately I'm just feeling pretty robbed/wronged and so I better just work on getting over it.
On a more positive note, school is over in about a week and a day. That is amazing, can't believe I get a 5 week period holiday. I had better find myself a little job soon. yes yes. Right so I have to go take a bath now and ...
Posts
Looking Good, feeling Alright
Ok so I lied, I'm not feeling THAT alright but whatever, it sounded good to say. ;)
I'm about to leave for the hotel party, I have half an hour left to wait. It is the worst thing ever to be already and then have to wait around. I would say that is one of my pet peeves which is high up on the list.
Of course I wanna go to this party because it is Andrew and Kim's Birthday but... Well first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Both KIM and ANDREW. Right, so the only reason I am kinda hesitant about going... well not hesitant but kinda like oh boo is because my man isn't gonna be there. Hahahah my man. Not EVEN my man but still. It would be so much fun if he was going, without his gf of course. DAmmit Mindy! You see that? Someone smack me, I am being evil again. I can't help it though, I like him. Right well maybe there will be someone else kool at the party that I will want to get to know. We'll see. My hair is looking really nice, than...
Going to the COUntry
Well hardly the country but I'm going to St. Lazare to visit my friend Jessica. Yay! Should be fun, Jess, Laur and me. Jess are I are going to eat pizza, I LOVE Pizza! As if anyone doesn't know that about me. Right so tomorrow is the hotel party at the Ritz Carlton... i wonder if I have to dress formalish or what, I should really ask. I'm gonna go pick up some things for the party tomorrow and well as my cheque from st. hubert's tonight. wahah. I hope Dominique is there, I don't really wanna see everyone else. :0
Ahem Ahem...
Today I think that I am going to dinner at a certain someone's house. *cough cough* It isn't really anything special because other people are going also but it is still a start you know. Hell maybe I will not even end up going but I think that I will. ;)
Wish me good luck... wonder if anything will go anywhere.
Oh yeah I would also like to say sorry for doing nothing but complaining in my few previous posts. Who wants to constantly read about someone whinning about the world? Cry me a river, right? :)
Oh well, it is now almost 10 o'clock, i just got home but... there are no real good results to report. Sorry captain.
Slipped Away
I used to be good at socializing. I used to be F*cking good at it. Now I can hardly carry a conversation. What happened?
I'm not sure if I've become anti-social or if I have just forgotten how to relate to people. I used to be quick and have things to say and now I just stay quiet. Maybe this will pass like everything else.
How am I supposed to meet new people if I'm not even going to make an effort to talk, what if I can't make an effort anymore? Like i mean I would love to meet a really amazing guy but what would I have to offer him if I can't even hold up a proper conversation. No one answer that with anything clever please. arrrg I just want someone special in my life.
Everything is Hurting
Block me, don't speak to me, do whatever you want to me. Don't read about anything going on for real and just listen to what other people tell you about me. GO AHEAD.
I don't want to go to the doctors... i don't want to know. I don't want to think about her anymore, i don't. THis song makes me want to cry.
Fallen by Sarah McLachlan
Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Chorus:
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the bur...
Just Wonderful
So when I was a kid I had something called juvenile rheumatoid arthiritis, they discovered it when I was four because a spider bit me and the swelling never went down afterwards. So i was diagnosed at age 4 and I had to take medication everyday and then I got two kotozone shots (can't spell) and then by maybe age 10 or so, it just left. It has been great not having to go to the doctor's all the time and get bloodtests or pee in a bottle or any of the other tests that I used to have to do. Really great.
About two weeks ago my knee flared up and today I finally went to the doctor. I was sent to get x-rays and my arthiritis might be back :( Man... can it just go a way. I don't understand why it just appears out of no where like that but hey it may not even be arthiritis. My granny is at the store now picking up Viox or something like than some anti-inflammatory pills for me. I just have to remember that things could always be a lot worse. At least my leg i...
Come test it out.
Alright so I need some friends on this friendster thingy. Michelle made me sign up but it isn't fun to only have two friends when other people have like a million. Yep so head on to This Place and come send me a message. ;)
That will be all
(for now)
ps my e-mail is mindy_13@hotmail.com
I Wonder...
I am liking this guy so much... I'm wondering if I am just blowing it out of proportion. Like if things were to happen and we were to actually get together, would I still want it? I worry about myself sometimes like... I like things when they aren't going to happen and then when they do, i realize it isn't what I really wanted. It doesn't happen ALL the time but enough times to make me wonder.
Thank-God
I finally finished my humanities essay today. Not bad considering I only started it on Monday. Damn long essays. One more to go due Monday... sociology. It is about myself though so it should be easier. Then I guess I will have one more thing to write in french and one more essay and english and then all the frigging essay with be done with. I love when school is about to be over. It is great.
I'm pretty sure I want to go into social work. At least I think i would like it and feel like I am actually helping people. I am happy because Sarah thinks she is interested in the same thing so maybe we will get to be in the same university classes. That would be really really good. Maybe we'll even work together when we are older. If I don't like social work too much I think I will either go into child psychology or lawschool. yep yep. Who knows though. I would still like to work for the child sector of the united nations. At least I know I want to work with kids an...
I'm not good with names, can I just call you ASSHOLE?!?
I thought that was a good way to start my blog of the day. I bought a shirt in quizz, it's red and that's what it says. Wahahaha Funny huh?
Today I got to hang around with someone special but it is really hard to just have a conversation with only him and I. It just doesn not happen. Why should I care though? He has a girlfriend and I am not a homewrecker. Pffft. I can't help it though... he is so sweet. Oh well... I'm just wasting my time.
I got a test back yesterday and one today and I got the highest mark in the class on them well I know on one for sure and people made it seem like so for the second. You would think it would make me feel good but that kind of attention kind of makes me feel bad. Like I guess I like a fair enough amount of attention but not like that.
With the shirt I bought it is kind of the same thing. It is tight on the boobs and that isn't exactly the part of myself I lov...
Err Mc Grr
Damn STM and their stupid bus/metro strike. I'm going to be stuck at school for 4 and a half hours on thursday unless I walk home and I'm going to walk home on friday at 11:30 unless i feel like staying at school until 4, which I don't! Man... on wednesday I only have to start at 2:30 and the only bus i can take (or metro) comes at like 9 am. Yeah right! That isn't going to happen.
I was supposed to go to the clinic today to see if they have to amputate my leg off or not but it was too full and they were only taking appointments at westmount square. So I didn't go and I thought I would go to the vendome clinic. I get there and it's closed! Dammit, I don't know what the hell is going on with my leg and I have no where to go. It is kinda painful. arrrrg.
I have to write a 2000 word essay due friday for humanities which i worth 25% of my grade. Arrrg I just can't seem to collect the info in the right way to just go ahead and write. Wow ...
And Here I Sit
Dammit. I'm home and I'm alone on a Saturday night. Alright I'm not quite alone since my granny and aunt are home but I am alone in a different sense. I just want him to like him. It's selfish and I know it but I can't help that. I can't believe I have a crush... It's disgusting. I haven't had a crush on someone since I don't know when. Lately things have just fell into place and happened. That or I found out the other person liked me. Crushes make you too vulnerable and I hate them. Why should I place my fate in someone else's hands? yeah... especially someone with a girlfriend. Way to be smart Melinda. man... ALright so I want to go and see the Matrix 3, maybe I'll work on doing that tonight. He won't be there though so what good is it? Arrrgggg.
oh man..
Way for a quiz to be right on the mark... :( It even asked my biggest fault and there was the option of saying that you feel alone even in a crowd... wow.
Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose : The Alone.
"When I wake up alone, the shades are still drawn on the cold window pane so they cast their lines on my bed and lines on my face."
The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness, melancholy, and patience. It is governed by the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword, or Unrequited Love.
As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so much love to give, but thing just never seem to work out the way you want them to. In life, you can be very optomistic, even when things are gray and nothing works out to your expectations.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To? brought to you by Quizilla
sigh
So i quit work. I just couldn't handle the stress or the though of working this friday and saturday. Anna told Dominique for me and everything was ok because I didn't have to tell the other two boses. She is gonna take my shifts on the weekend and she told me to still come visit her. And then Dominique... who i really liked told me that he was going to miss me. *tear* then Andre, the comic relief of my everyday shift asked why i was going to leave. he told me to just to something else there but whatever can i do? I can't make food and i think being a waitress would kill me. I'm gonna miss them... aww so sad. But I hate the clients well... the majority so bye to them and bye to rushed and by to people getting angry at me. Man... i feel really bad. Just as i walked out the door , there was a big lightening in the sky, it was strange. Like a bad omen. oh well... i hope that will turn out for the best. Sniff sniff.
Relieved
Sometimes it is just really nice to have a place to be able to write whatever is on my mind. I have my journal also which i reserve for really important thoughts and feelings and sometimes stupid ones also but here i somehow feel less lonely writing. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that because they too have online webjournals or whatever else.
So lately I'm struggling with school. Well. you see. not really struggling because school is really not that hard if you try but I'm just struggling with actually motivating myself enough to be able to get my work done. It seems to be getting harder and harder these days. I just want to snuggle up in my bed and read the new Harry Potter book I got for my birthday. It doesn't help when english is really pissing me off either. I got a 7.8 on a the rough copy of my essay and so i went and made all the corrections she made in my paper and then I ended up with an even lower grade on my final copy. What the hell?...
A Good Birthday
Yesterday was infact my birthday and I had a really good night. So my whole family came over and that was fun. One highlight was Laurie putting lipstick on my little cousin's neck. How funny was that? So after we all ate and the guests left, Laurie and I weren't sure what to do. My friend Jon had told me if I wasn't doing anything on the night of my birthday, he would come and kidnap me. So that is what happened. He came and kidnapped me and took me to a bar in the West Island, Clyde's. The thing is though, Laur had made me wear the shirt that her and Michelle had gotten me for my birthday. It is an inside joke i guess you could say and it says (in huge letters) Sometimes when i laugh I pee! . Soo... we get to the bar and, of course, I get carded, but we also had to do coat check. OH MAN... i didn't wanna take off my coat... hahah embarrassing. I DON"T PEE when I laugh by the way. hahaah maybe once... NO i'm kidding;/... i really don...
What can I do?
My last day being 18... I'm supposed to make it count right? Or at least make it something memorable. Unfortunetely, all I want to do is sleep and I have to leave for work in less than half an hour. What am I supposed to do? Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't feel well at all... could be worse but I'd rather be in very good health and spirits for my bday. Wonder what tomorrow is going to be like.
Why Why Why?!?!
I feel so shitty right now. I am so sick. I thought that maybe this morning I would feel better than I did last night, but I don't; I feel worse. uggghh Sarah it is a good thing that you didn't invite me to your house this weekend because I would have infected your whole family. My germs would be all over the place. Uhhhhg I don't even think I will be better for my birthday which is in two days. I am lucky that I only have one class today because I am definetely not going to school. My plans, after waking up this morning, were to sleep all day long but they are foiled. I cannot sleep because I have some weird headache. Not a normal one because I can normally just sleep those off or cure them just with my will. (that is kinda kool thing to do btw) BUT this headache is different. I guess it must be a sinus one because my brain is actually hurting. I'm not sure if I can explain it properly... a normal headache throbs I guess or pounds but this is like O...
Yay!
This is the first weekend in a while that I've actually had a good time. Friday night I got to hang out with friends and saturday night I got to watch two movies. So Sarah I saw 28 days later that you were encouraging me to see. It was interesting but I think I liked Kill Bill better. Yep, so I finally got to see Kill Bill. Thanks Paul! ;) I had a really good time. I finally feel kinda happy. Tomorrow I have to kick it into homework overdrive but I think, all in all, it was well worth it. I hope that everyone else is having a good weekend.