I wrote this Monday at work. Dunno why I haven't posted it here yet. It was a really strange writing experience because at first I started off being the first person speaking... but then somehow I became the other one.. weird... I was trying to take the perspective of another and I did it but then i changed mid way through... anyways... here it is: Hold Your Hurt How long have I been here? I’ve lost count The same place, the same stage Over and over again I hear you laugh, I hear you cry And here I sit idly by I wait to touch you I wait to be the comfort you seek The one shining example Of something better But you have to do it on your own You have to try to make it alone Why? Why he asks me again and again Why can’t I let him in? It’s hard to make someone understand Something you barely grasp yourself I laugh with others But I cry alone I hear your cry in your sleep And each time my heart breaks I hold you and hope that it’s enough But come the morning I know It’ll be like nothing...
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2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake, "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?, I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season" Love, relationship-wise is sooo confusing. The different feelings each person experiences, the way they play out... it's all some kinda giant mess albeit sometimes a good and comforting mess. The other day I was speaking with someone and he was telling me about some hard times he went through. I was listening and I really loved just listening for once. Not thinking how I could relate to it or how it applied to me, but just listening. It's been a while since I have been able to do that. Afterwards he started asking me some things and he concluded that I haven't been through many rough times or struggles because I am too optimistic about things and happy. I didn't know how I felt about that. I'm still not sure. At first I wanted to say hey, you don't know shit about me or what I've been through. B...
I'm not sure if I want to keep this blog anymore. I think that I might as well just keep a private journal instead of an online one. Then again, this blog thing is really convenient for times like now when I am writing from work. The CUTEST kids came in today with their mom. She asked me if I do babysitting as well... hell ya for those kids! hahah adorable!! She lives in montreal west which is awesome because it's so close to me. She has 5 kids already and looks so young and pretty that's it's almost unbelievable. I hope to have the same good fortune... not that I think I'll be having 5 kids but still. I'm really looking forward to falling in love one day and starting a family. It almost hurts to admit that but it's the truth. I prolly have a ways to go first tho... school, traveling, figuring out what I really wanna do with my life... I'm hoping it'll all work itself out somehow.
So I got the job Wo0t W0ot! I'll be speaking French every day of the summer mon-fri 9-1pm :) We'll see how that goes. The funniest part is that the kids are all anglophones and I have to pretend that I don't understand them when they speak in English. hahahah Alright so today is the big room/house clean-up. Go me! i wanna just get rid of tons of shit although knowing my pack rat tendencies, I prolly won't get rid of very much at all. I'm gonna try real hard tho..
Stagnant I feel that there is something that I should be doing with my life that I am not, I just don't know what it is. I complain when I have too much going on in my life but now that I have a lot less, I don't even know what to do with myself. Today I have a job interview for the summer at least so that should give me something to do. This weekend I am going to be hella busy so that's good too. I spent the long weekend in Toronto. Nothing special really, but maybe that is because I did kinda touristy things whereas I would have much preferred just chilling with people and hanging out/ partying. I did go to a castle and do archery tho so that was wicked. I'm actually a decendent of the amazon warriors... haha I'm not but wouldn't that be kool? Anyways I suppose I should go and get ready. Wish me luck.
Well this is kool. I brought my laptop to work today and I was able to connect to the internet. I can't get on msn tho... and they have a lot of sites blocked which is pretty shitty. Anyways, now I can blog from work and stuff when I am bored. Yesterday I had an amazing day/night. Work, friends, romance, new job offering... it felt almost too good to be true. I saw When in Vegas and I liked it a lot. I guess it is your typical romanic comedy, prolly a little more funny than most. I really enjoyed it. I also enjoyed having a sweet message waiting for me when the movie was over. Whenever I see movies like that I worry that I'm never going to have what I have seen or that it doesn't exist so it was nice to have something comparable in real life. :) The AC/heat thingy in here is really noisy. I would turn it down so it would go off but I am in my bare feet and I'm sure that I will get cold if I do that. I wonder what is on the menu here for dinner tonight. I love t...
So I'm sick. It's been a good while since my last cold so I can't really complain. It's actually been like a year since I've been sick I think. I'm at the runny nose stage of my cold. I sprayed Otrivin up my nose before but by accident I sprayed WAY too much, wasn't good... My brain kinda hurts a little bit now. So I'm working, but I'm not working too hard. I have to decide what I am going to do for the months of July and August. I'm kinda taking it easy now, which is nice because I don't do it often, but I feel like such a slacker. And I should really be making way more money.. So I must start thinking about what I'm gonna do. What else is there to talk about today? It's nice outside. I'm having supper with Jay tonight. I saw Laurie today. Oh, I bought new glasses. They're pretty sweet! And I think that's about it for now. :) This is the glasses: