I wrote this Monday at work. Dunno why I haven't posted it here yet. It was a really strange writing experience because at first I started off being the first person speaking... but then somehow I became the other one.. weird... I was trying to take the perspective of another and I did it but then i changed mid way through... anyways... here it is:
Hold Your Hurt
How long have I been here?
I’ve lost count
The same place, the same stage
Over and over again
I hear you laugh, I hear you cry
And here I sit idly by
I wait to touch you
I wait to be the comfort you seek
The one shining example
Of something better
But you have to do it on your own
You have to try to make it alone
Why?
Why he asks me again and again
Why can’t I let him in?
It’s hard to make someone understand
Something you barely grasp yourself
I laugh with others
But I cry alone
I hear your cry in your sleep
And each time my heart breaks
I hold you and hope that it’s enough
But come the morning I know
It’ll be like nothing came out
You’ll beam a smile at me
But I know you’re hurt
I can see it, almost physically feel it
Even through that glorious smile of yours
If you knew that at my core
Existed this limitless pool of sorrow
I am afraid that you would leave
When I am smiling
I am genuine, I am happy
I cannot help that underneath
There is some kind of hurt
That never ever goes away
And that I can’t bring myself
To let another see
But I am here for you
I love you
I want to share your pain
I want to hold your hurt
Please, just let me try
And that right there is exactly
The reason I will never let you in
Because I know that the thing I want most
Is the very thing that I will never have
I want someone to see my pain
To hold it
And to heal it
But I know that this cannot be done
I know that you want to try
I know that you want to hear about everything
And somehow get me through it
But I also know that eventually
You will grow tired of it
Tired of me
I will open up
I will give you everything I have
And then you will leave
You’ll walk away with some of my hurt
But your walking away will break me
To which you cannot reply
Hold Your Hurt
How long have I been here?
I’ve lost count
The same place, the same stage
Over and over again
I hear you laugh, I hear you cry
And here I sit idly by
I wait to touch you
I wait to be the comfort you seek
The one shining example
Of something better
But you have to do it on your own
You have to try to make it alone
Why?
Why he asks me again and again
Why can’t I let him in?
It’s hard to make someone understand
Something you barely grasp yourself
I laugh with others
But I cry alone
I hear your cry in your sleep
And each time my heart breaks
I hold you and hope that it’s enough
But come the morning I know
It’ll be like nothing came out
You’ll beam a smile at me
But I know you’re hurt
I can see it, almost physically feel it
Even through that glorious smile of yours
If you knew that at my core
Existed this limitless pool of sorrow
I am afraid that you would leave
When I am smiling
I am genuine, I am happy
I cannot help that underneath
There is some kind of hurt
That never ever goes away
And that I can’t bring myself
To let another see
But I am here for you
I love you
I want to share your pain
I want to hold your hurt
Please, just let me try
And that right there is exactly
The reason I will never let you in
Because I know that the thing I want most
Is the very thing that I will never have
I want someone to see my pain
To hold it
And to heal it
But I know that this cannot be done
I know that you want to try
I know that you want to hear about everything
And somehow get me through it
But I also know that eventually
You will grow tired of it
Tired of me
I will open up
I will give you everything I have
And then you will leave
You’ll walk away with some of my hurt
But your walking away will break me
To which you cannot reply
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