Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I am doing becoming a social worker. Maybe I'm then one who needs to actually see one. I'm not sure if it's getting worse but I feel pretty nervous sometimes and also I can be sooo shy. I really hate it and it makes me wonder if I'll be any good as a social worker. Probably not all social workers have to go out and advocate and lead group discussions and volunteer efforts but wow, I have to choose a stage soon and a lot of them require that. I wonder what I will get. Last time I went for my placement interview, the lady said I looked So so young and so she didn't know where to put me. Oy. Well we'll see I guess. I have my interview for next years placement on thursday. It's like 400 hours or something... crazy. I hope I get somewhere that I will fit in and be able to do good stuff. Man why am i always thinking and worrying and blah blah. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy to cry...
Joan of Arcadia made me cry ... again... It was such an amazing episode. There were so many little things to catch and I prolly missed some. But the whole part how Judith made the guy memorize Hamlet for her (tragedy where leading female dies) and just as he is finished it, she herself dies. And how Joan can always keep a part of Judith with her and just so many things. That show is soo good to me because it is really moving and it makes you think (as well as cry if you are like me). I am happy to cry because I can actually feel something. Experiencing something through a television. Before I was thinking about what it would be like to be someone else with a different kind of life. It just feels like I am not feeling enough right now. I know I am actually experiencing a lot and to use the simile katie did, it is "just like the earth is always moving but we never feel it". But I want to feel it. It's like something is missing.
Lately I feel as if I have...
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