Playing: 1. Sunday Bloody Sunday
2. The World You Love
Sometimes I have so many thoughts running through my head that I can't pick which ones to write about. I was just about to go and write in my journal but I figured I would do it here instead.
I watched Joan tonight (I almost missed it because my granny and aunt said it was going to be a repeat); it always makes me think. One of the many reasons that it is my favorite show. So it was mainly about how a lot of the time we do not see the results of our actions but how that isn't as important as the actions themselves.
I'm thinking about everything I live for and everything I want to do and how I affect people's lives. Sometimes maybe we do not feel too good about ourselves because we do not always get to be aware of how our existence and just our being there has an impact on everyone around us. I know that one of the things that I want to do is bring out the best in other people... The thing is... whether I do it or not, I can't ever really know for sure. I wonder if I do it and whether I can do it without needing to be satisfied through seeing results.
I'm thinking of not publishing this post and just saving it as a draft. I limit myself when I know that other people are going to be reading what I am writing.
Lately I feel more like a shadow of the person I once was. It feels like I used to be an all around better person. I am not sure why because I am more educated now and I am thinking about more things... It just feels like I used to have more life, more light, more energy. I'm scared that other people can feel it too and that it isn't just me. That is such a terrifying thought. To be losing who you are or what you are, I'm not sure how to phrase that exactly. The question of whether it is better to burn out or to fade away... well can you be doing both?
I think I have to go back, retrace my steps and find out what is going on. If I lost something or if I am neglecting some important aspect of my life. What if you just lose the special bright part of yourself from growing older... I don't want that to happen.
I wonder if any of this makes sense to anyone else... I guess I will publish this because I want to know. I'm hesistating because it's kind of like, I can admit this worry to myself but it's somehow worse to admit it to everyone. Well here goes...
2. The World You Love
Sometimes I have so many thoughts running through my head that I can't pick which ones to write about. I was just about to go and write in my journal but I figured I would do it here instead.
I watched Joan tonight (I almost missed it because my granny and aunt said it was going to be a repeat); it always makes me think. One of the many reasons that it is my favorite show. So it was mainly about how a lot of the time we do not see the results of our actions but how that isn't as important as the actions themselves.
I'm thinking about everything I live for and everything I want to do and how I affect people's lives. Sometimes maybe we do not feel too good about ourselves because we do not always get to be aware of how our existence and just our being there has an impact on everyone around us. I know that one of the things that I want to do is bring out the best in other people... The thing is... whether I do it or not, I can't ever really know for sure. I wonder if I do it and whether I can do it without needing to be satisfied through seeing results.
I'm thinking of not publishing this post and just saving it as a draft. I limit myself when I know that other people are going to be reading what I am writing.
Lately I feel more like a shadow of the person I once was. It feels like I used to be an all around better person. I am not sure why because I am more educated now and I am thinking about more things... It just feels like I used to have more life, more light, more energy. I'm scared that other people can feel it too and that it isn't just me. That is such a terrifying thought. To be losing who you are or what you are, I'm not sure how to phrase that exactly. The question of whether it is better to burn out or to fade away... well can you be doing both?
I think I have to go back, retrace my steps and find out what is going on. If I lost something or if I am neglecting some important aspect of my life. What if you just lose the special bright part of yourself from growing older... I don't want that to happen.
I wonder if any of this makes sense to anyone else... I guess I will publish this because I want to know. I'm hesistating because it's kind of like, I can admit this worry to myself but it's somehow worse to admit it to everyone. Well here goes...
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