The Mind is a Powerful (and sometimes slightly annoying) Thing
I was sooo tired yesterday, all day long and even through cardio latino. All i wanted to do was sleep and I think I could have just lay on the floor anywhere and drifted off. I decided to try to go to bed early in order to get a good sleep and maybe even get better but of course, do you think I could sleep when I finally had the opportunity? NO! I lay there for about three hours blowing my noise and tossing and turning. It's was so frustrating. On top of that, I think I was having major fever induced thoughts. My mind was running all over the place, analyzing every aspect of my life and trying to tell me that it was all wrong and I needed to start over. I had really scary thoughts, everything was being questioned and I was powerless to do anything. I can't really explain it but it was like being forced to think when I didn't want to and about things that I didn't want to think about. That's not really true, they were things I don't really mind thinking of but my mind was making me feel all these things I didn't want to. I don't know how to explain this. It was like everything was wrong and backwards. And i was all alone, even my mind was against me. I was soooo unhappy all night long. Then when I finally fell asleep (probably around 5 am) I had to wake up at 8. I didn't want to miss school today and I was supposed to go eat with Sarah but I just couldn't get up. So I stayed home today and i guess that's ok because it's freezing. But I have sooo much homework to do and I just want to hide. Also, tomorrow I have to work and I dunno if I should call in today or tomorrow or just go in. bah. k well i'm just gonna go and try to get some things done. Man I feel pretty miserable. I'm such a puss at the same time. like I have a cold, who cares? It's really not a big deal but I just feel so completely shitty.
I was sooo tired yesterday, all day long and even through cardio latino. All i wanted to do was sleep and I think I could have just lay on the floor anywhere and drifted off. I decided to try to go to bed early in order to get a good sleep and maybe even get better but of course, do you think I could sleep when I finally had the opportunity? NO! I lay there for about three hours blowing my noise and tossing and turning. It's was so frustrating. On top of that, I think I was having major fever induced thoughts. My mind was running all over the place, analyzing every aspect of my life and trying to tell me that it was all wrong and I needed to start over. I had really scary thoughts, everything was being questioned and I was powerless to do anything. I can't really explain it but it was like being forced to think when I didn't want to and about things that I didn't want to think about. That's not really true, they were things I don't really mind thinking of but my mind was making me feel all these things I didn't want to. I don't know how to explain this. It was like everything was wrong and backwards. And i was all alone, even my mind was against me. I was soooo unhappy all night long. Then when I finally fell asleep (probably around 5 am) I had to wake up at 8. I didn't want to miss school today and I was supposed to go eat with Sarah but I just couldn't get up. So I stayed home today and i guess that's ok because it's freezing. But I have sooo much homework to do and I just want to hide. Also, tomorrow I have to work and I dunno if I should call in today or tomorrow or just go in. bah. k well i'm just gonna go and try to get some things done. Man I feel pretty miserable. I'm such a puss at the same time. like I have a cold, who cares? It's really not a big deal but I just feel so completely shitty.
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