I am so surprised, and not in a good way either. You first meet someone and you get to know them and you think that they are wonderful. And then little by little you begin to see how wrong you were. You see how much you wanted to believe in someone, how much you wanted to believe that someone was good and then you have to watch them undo everything you believed in day by day, hurtful act after hurtful act. You stop to consider how much of it could be your fault, what negative qualities you might bring to the table. But you are also self-aware and you know your values. You know that, for the most part, it isn't you. You know that you were clear about things and you know what you want. It isn't this. You wonder how things could have started out so well and now how they got to this. "you're pathetic Melinda"
Am I the pathetic one? I am not the one who promised someone such a different life and then gave her exactly what I knew that she did not want. I am not the one who pretended to be someone else from the very beginning. Or, if not pretended, I am not the one who did not care enough not to become what I promised I was not.
This aggression, this rush to eruptions and threats, is not what I want for myself and is not what I want to give to others. So sometimes enough is enough and you have to step away from the situation and exchange your cards. You have to admit that you are unhappy with your situation and that you feel that there is nothing you can do you change it. You do not decide the way someone else lives and makes their decisions, but you do make your own.
And so little by little she began to pull away. She started to care less. She knew she had a lot of love and energy to give and that it should not be wasted where it is not wanted. She understood that love helps, it does not hinder someone achieve their personal legend. The sad part is, she already learned this lesson, with someone before, but perhaps not well enough if there needs to be a repeat performance. This time, the question is, how long will she stay before she accepts what she has to do. How long will she hold out on this rediculous hope that things will change? Maybe if it is less than 3 years, it will be an improvement.
Am I the pathetic one? I am not the one who promised someone such a different life and then gave her exactly what I knew that she did not want. I am not the one who pretended to be someone else from the very beginning. Or, if not pretended, I am not the one who did not care enough not to become what I promised I was not.
This aggression, this rush to eruptions and threats, is not what I want for myself and is not what I want to give to others. So sometimes enough is enough and you have to step away from the situation and exchange your cards. You have to admit that you are unhappy with your situation and that you feel that there is nothing you can do you change it. You do not decide the way someone else lives and makes their decisions, but you do make your own.
And so little by little she began to pull away. She started to care less. She knew she had a lot of love and energy to give and that it should not be wasted where it is not wanted. She understood that love helps, it does not hinder someone achieve their personal legend. The sad part is, she already learned this lesson, with someone before, but perhaps not well enough if there needs to be a repeat performance. This time, the question is, how long will she stay before she accepts what she has to do. How long will she hold out on this rediculous hope that things will change? Maybe if it is less than 3 years, it will be an improvement.
Comments
you make me want to come back... don't worry I won't.