I <3 my Nana
I have spent a long time trying to think of what to write for this personal narrative. I considered writing about my mother, my spirituality, and a toy horse I had as a child named Buster, but none of these seemed to capture anything that was currently on my mind. Recently I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out just what kind of person I am trying to become. I believe that the consequences of a specific event from my childhood have really shaped and guided my values. The event I am referring to is my grandmother obtaining custody of me as a small child. I know this is a very personal topic, but it also has the most meaning for me. Being able to spend such a big part of my life with such a special person has had a huge impact on the type of person I am constantly striving to be.
I seem to have come into this world under quite unfavourable circumstances. My mother was not well, my father did not want to believe that I was his, and on top of this, I was delivered with forceps. I came out black and blue, with a dented head, and had to be kept in an incubator for at least 48 hours. My aunt touched my cheek and I screamed for the entire world to hear. Somehow though, I was born healthy and after the initial shock of entering the world, I was a pretty happy baby. My mother, on the other hand, was not so healthy and happy.
My mother lived with her mother, her aunt, and her brother, which would be my grandmother, my great aunt, and my uncle, while I was a baby. This situation was working out fine, because, although my mother had bi-polar disorder and was beginning to develop a serious drug addiction, the rest of my family was around to take care of me. It was all working out somehow until my mother decided that she wanted to leave and that she was taking me with her. This is where my grandmother made a decision that has probably completely altered the direction my life may have taken. She went to court and she fought for custody rights against my mother. My grandmother won, and I stayed with her, my aunt, and my uncle. My mother left.
I grew up with my grandmother and spent almost all of my time with her as a child. I got to know an awful lot about her. I saw her strengths and her faults, what made her happy, what made her sad, and what really ticked her off. I got to see her at her best and I got to see her when the red-eyed hot flash monster took over. (Let’s just say that during that time I a lot of time playing outside.) I really got to see everything, including what an amazing person she is.
I saw her everyday doing something nice for someone else. Whether it was just saying a friendly hello to someone passing by or helping a blind man to cross the street, she never hesitated to do the right thing. I remember feeling a little intimidated being around someone like that because you always knew that she would to the right thing in the situation and so you should too. My granny seriously never faltered in this regard. Not only was she one of the nicest people around, but she was also super funny and could always make you laugh. She always gave one hundred and ten percent and was willing to do just about anything for anyone, especially the people that she loved.
We still saw my mother as I was growing up because my grandmother would bring me to go and visit her. My mother was in and out of psychiatric wards, emergency rooms, jail, and rehab. We went to see her at all of these places, except for at the jail (my granny probably went there alone). It did not really seem out of the ordinary or exceptional for me as a child. My mother was sick and that was all.
What I do consider now, however, is where I would have been had it not been for my grandmother. What kind of person would I have become? Would I have been in youth protection and bounced around from foster home to foster home? Would I have become a mean and hurtful person who just looked out for myself? Would I have become a delinquent with my own set of drug problems? No one knows the answers to these questions but what they can know about is the difference my grandmother has made in my life.
My nana gave me a home where I was loved and cared for. She was the one person I knew truly loved me and would continue to do so no matter what. With her, I never once felt unwanted or like some kind of burden. I never really even felt different than most kids around me. I knew that all families have their own stories and that all of us have different things that we must deal with. But, I did realize that I was privileged. I was aware that not everyone got such a wonderful grandma. I grasped this intuitively as a child, but I get it even more so today. I think that one of the biggest reasons why I never really acted out or got into any real trouble as a kid or teenager was because of her. She loved me and I was so lucky to have her. I still am.
So that one decision has really made all the difference in who I am today. I know that there is the whole debate between nature and nurture and people may argue that I am who I am today because I was born that way, but I do not agree. I am who I am today because I was provided with a stable environment to grow up in and I had someone who loved me with all of her heart.
I have spent a long time trying to think of what to write for this personal narrative. I considered writing about my mother, my spirituality, and a toy horse I had as a child named Buster, but none of these seemed to capture anything that was currently on my mind. Recently I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out just what kind of person I am trying to become. I believe that the consequences of a specific event from my childhood have really shaped and guided my values. The event I am referring to is my grandmother obtaining custody of me as a small child. I know this is a very personal topic, but it also has the most meaning for me. Being able to spend such a big part of my life with such a special person has had a huge impact on the type of person I am constantly striving to be.
I seem to have come into this world under quite unfavourable circumstances. My mother was not well, my father did not want to believe that I was his, and on top of this, I was delivered with forceps. I came out black and blue, with a dented head, and had to be kept in an incubator for at least 48 hours. My aunt touched my cheek and I screamed for the entire world to hear. Somehow though, I was born healthy and after the initial shock of entering the world, I was a pretty happy baby. My mother, on the other hand, was not so healthy and happy.
My mother lived with her mother, her aunt, and her brother, which would be my grandmother, my great aunt, and my uncle, while I was a baby. This situation was working out fine, because, although my mother had bi-polar disorder and was beginning to develop a serious drug addiction, the rest of my family was around to take care of me. It was all working out somehow until my mother decided that she wanted to leave and that she was taking me with her. This is where my grandmother made a decision that has probably completely altered the direction my life may have taken. She went to court and she fought for custody rights against my mother. My grandmother won, and I stayed with her, my aunt, and my uncle. My mother left.
I grew up with my grandmother and spent almost all of my time with her as a child. I got to know an awful lot about her. I saw her strengths and her faults, what made her happy, what made her sad, and what really ticked her off. I got to see her at her best and I got to see her when the red-eyed hot flash monster took over. (Let’s just say that during that time I a lot of time playing outside.) I really got to see everything, including what an amazing person she is.
I saw her everyday doing something nice for someone else. Whether it was just saying a friendly hello to someone passing by or helping a blind man to cross the street, she never hesitated to do the right thing. I remember feeling a little intimidated being around someone like that because you always knew that she would to the right thing in the situation and so you should too. My granny seriously never faltered in this regard. Not only was she one of the nicest people around, but she was also super funny and could always make you laugh. She always gave one hundred and ten percent and was willing to do just about anything for anyone, especially the people that she loved.
We still saw my mother as I was growing up because my grandmother would bring me to go and visit her. My mother was in and out of psychiatric wards, emergency rooms, jail, and rehab. We went to see her at all of these places, except for at the jail (my granny probably went there alone). It did not really seem out of the ordinary or exceptional for me as a child. My mother was sick and that was all.
What I do consider now, however, is where I would have been had it not been for my grandmother. What kind of person would I have become? Would I have been in youth protection and bounced around from foster home to foster home? Would I have become a mean and hurtful person who just looked out for myself? Would I have become a delinquent with my own set of drug problems? No one knows the answers to these questions but what they can know about is the difference my grandmother has made in my life.
My nana gave me a home where I was loved and cared for. She was the one person I knew truly loved me and would continue to do so no matter what. With her, I never once felt unwanted or like some kind of burden. I never really even felt different than most kids around me. I knew that all families have their own stories and that all of us have different things that we must deal with. But, I did realize that I was privileged. I was aware that not everyone got such a wonderful grandma. I grasped this intuitively as a child, but I get it even more so today. I think that one of the biggest reasons why I never really acted out or got into any real trouble as a kid or teenager was because of her. She loved me and I was so lucky to have her. I still am.
So that one decision has really made all the difference in who I am today. I know that there is the whole debate between nature and nurture and people may argue that I am who I am today because I was born that way, but I do not agree. I am who I am today because I was provided with a stable environment to grow up in and I had someone who loved me with all of her heart.
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