In a Direction
Lately I am feeling happy with my life. Maybe happy isn't exactly the right word but I feel like I know what I want more and more. I know where I am trying to head with my career, I know my thoughts about love and guys at the moment and even about kids. It isn't really like I have a plan, I just know what is important to me and what I would like to focus on.
Love is still a priority for me but I think that I've come to accept that maybe it does not happen to everyone, at least not in a bf/gf relationship marriage sort of way. And that's ok. You focus on the things you can control, such as your education and your career, and you just let what you cannot control (such as love) come to you if it chooses. I mean you make the effort to encourage it, you aren't just passive about it but like you cannot control who loves you and who you love really so you gotta just let it happen. How long has it taken me to accept that.... years and years.
Anyways, i just felt like I would share that. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of new people and getting to know them. Not even a lot just some incredible ones. I want to surround myself with people who give me good vibes and who i am not chilling with to be respectful or nice. Which brings me to another point and lesson i've learned. Dealing with guys... I realized that I love to meet people in weird situations... like a dude who was drawing comics that i spoke to on the bus the other day, not like dudes in bars (especially bars like winnie's). So ya, I've learned to just tell people straight out that I am not interested. And if that doesn't work after repeated times, to tell them that I am a lesbian. It really doesn't bother me. I just don't know why I had such problems with expressing how i felt before. I felt rude or unkind... but you know, it's my choice and my right who I want to meet and talk to (and whatever else) and who i don't. I'm sure that is completely obvious to everyone else, but to me, it wasn't./
there are so many little things about life that I feel like I am finally understanding or at least seeing how to make them simpler. anyways, that's enough for now.
I'm gonna have dinner with my family soon.
Lately I am feeling happy with my life. Maybe happy isn't exactly the right word but I feel like I know what I want more and more. I know where I am trying to head with my career, I know my thoughts about love and guys at the moment and even about kids. It isn't really like I have a plan, I just know what is important to me and what I would like to focus on.
Love is still a priority for me but I think that I've come to accept that maybe it does not happen to everyone, at least not in a bf/gf relationship marriage sort of way. And that's ok. You focus on the things you can control, such as your education and your career, and you just let what you cannot control (such as love) come to you if it chooses. I mean you make the effort to encourage it, you aren't just passive about it but like you cannot control who loves you and who you love really so you gotta just let it happen. How long has it taken me to accept that.... years and years.
Anyways, i just felt like I would share that. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of new people and getting to know them. Not even a lot just some incredible ones. I want to surround myself with people who give me good vibes and who i am not chilling with to be respectful or nice. Which brings me to another point and lesson i've learned. Dealing with guys... I realized that I love to meet people in weird situations... like a dude who was drawing comics that i spoke to on the bus the other day, not like dudes in bars (especially bars like winnie's). So ya, I've learned to just tell people straight out that I am not interested. And if that doesn't work after repeated times, to tell them that I am a lesbian. It really doesn't bother me. I just don't know why I had such problems with expressing how i felt before. I felt rude or unkind... but you know, it's my choice and my right who I want to meet and talk to (and whatever else) and who i don't. I'm sure that is completely obvious to everyone else, but to me, it wasn't./
there are so many little things about life that I feel like I am finally understanding or at least seeing how to make them simpler. anyways, that's enough for now.
I'm gonna have dinner with my family soon.
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