Hallelujah



It's spring and I feel so much better about life and myself right now.  I seriously have to bring myself to someone to talk about S.A.D. because I think I have it.  It could also be that I'm almost over the concussions as well,  but the seasonal depression stuff was going on even before the concussions.
When spring comes it feels like I come alive again, only I did not realize how dead I was.  The sudden juxtaposition of my feelings lets me know.  It's like someone lifts a grey veil that I hadn't realized I was wearing and that was affecting all aspects of my life,  and then boom, I remember who I am and what joy feels like. Not that I feel zero happiness all winter,  but it's numbed. I lose touch with my spiritual side, I become full of self doubt and my self esteem takes a dramatic nosedive. Then one day,  I'm back. Back to the real me, or at least the me I like.
Just like that, I start having more to say, to get excited about life and new ideas, and to think I can do so many things I doubted I could before. It feels so much better.
I wonder what I should do? Nothing and look at it like those winters give me empathy for people suffering and make me really appreciate being alive in spring, or get medicated (or find something) so I can try to feel awesome all year round?
Actually I really don't like the idea of being medicated... Third idea, try moving to somewhere warm and convincing all of my friends and family to come too. (Any takers?)

If anyone has any insight, I'd appreciate it.

Comments

Unknown said…
Hey Melinda just read this. I was in the same position a few years back. Might have a good book or a suggestion for you about that. There is definitely something to do about this :) I'll send you the link to the english version of this book. I guess it could be a good start. I read it 3 years ago, and taking this opportunity of being off work to read it again these days...
Unknown said…
oh by the way it's Fanny haha

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