Third Time, Definitely Not the Charm


(3 years, regretted)

1. "My mom likes you because you're
smart and you do well in school.
But, you know, my parents want me
to marry an asian girl."

(3 years although not regretted)

2. "There are some things that
are just beyond your ability to grasp
Let alone actually comprehend.
Trust me."

(2.5 years, terribly regretted)

3. "You are the worst girlfriend I have
ever had. You are a stupid fucking
Cunt. By the way, I fucked
You're best friend, 3 times,
You should ask her about it."

I can't imagine why anyone would
Want to go through this
I can't believe that collectively
I have been in monogamous,
Long-term relationships
For 9 years of my life.
And for what?
(Granted, it may have something to do with my
selection, but I think it's more.
Maybe I just don't know what to do with
Self-motivated, smart, kind and decent
Guys.
But I'm no Mother Theresa.
And I've had enough of learning
How not to treat someone
I could use someone who could
Help me
For once
Have a positive impact, perhaps allow me
To become a better person.
I am probably stronger now and less naive
But it's not something
I am happy about.)
I don't know if I'll ever get into another
Relationship again. Ever again.
In fact,
For me to embark on another
Long-term anything
I will require, nay demand,
Nothing short of a:
Decent, kind, adoring, humble, loyal, gentle, strong, smart, funny, beautiful, inspiring, respectful, emotionally intelligent,
interesting, people and animal loving, peacekeeping, fit, spiritual, clean, and anything else I've forgotten, fun-loving man.

Any takers?

Drug addicts, alcoholics, raging maniacs, crazies, condescending snobs, dumbasses, assholes, cowards, abusers (of any kind), punk-ass bitches, irrational and egotistical megalomanicacs, and anyone short of unbelievably amazing,

Need not apply.

Thank-you.