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Some of these were just too good, I couldn't resist.

hahah overheard in new york!

Small Asian kid, pounding the computer mouse in frustration: Where the hell is Carmen Sandiego?!

--Chinese School

We've Both Agreed to Raise a Spitter
Father-to-be: So my wife won't give me head no more.
Friend: Why? Just cuz she's pregnant?
Father-to-be: Yeah. She keeps saying anything she eats the baby eats, and she don't want it eating my jizz.

--N Train


Not "I'll Fuck You" Good, But Good Nonetheless
Construction worker #1 to hot girl: Damn baby, did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven?
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes)
Construction worker #2: Your name must be Candy 'cause you look so sweet!
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes again, laughing a little)
Construction worker #3: Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Hot girl (laughs hysterically): That's gotta be the best I've ever heard!

--65th & Broadway


Unfortunately, They Also Like to Make Generalizations About Us.
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.

--Café, Lenox & 119th


And You Could Change Your Motto to "To Protect and Sever"
Drunk guy to cop with nightstick: Ya' know what, you all should get like lightsabers and shit.
Cop: That would be fun.
Drunk guy: Yeah, I'd never fuck with you guys again.

--Yankee Stadium



Just Send Me a Fax
Hobo #1: Hey, how's it going?
Hobo #2: Okay.
Hobo #1: I'll call you tonight!
Hobo #2: I don't have a phone.
Hobo #1: I know.

--Astoria


We'll Be Like, "That Was Sad. What's for Dinner?"
Midwestern tourist dad: Next we're going to the Empire State Building.
Six-year-old daughter: How far is it? Do we have to walk?
Midwestern tourist dad: Yes, it'll be fun.
Six-year-old daughter (in super whiny voice): Why? It's too far, I don't wanna walk!
Midwestern tourist dad: It'll be fun, we'll see the sights along the way.
Six-year-old daughter (on the verge of a tantrum): But I don't wanna!
Midwestern tourist dad (in very calm and soothing voice): Well, you can walk with us, or you can just lay down and die.

--5th Ave & 38th St

Angry guy to girlfriend: Look, I get the whole not wanting to have public sex thing, but I don't know if I can be with someone who won't play Wii.

--43rd & Madison

Jamaican conductor over PA: Don't move between cars while the train is in motion. I don't want to have to knock you the fuck out.

--1 Train






OKay okay I`ll stop but seriously, this site kills me!!! I linked it to my blog if anyone wants to check it out.

Comments

Sarah said…
Angry guy to girlfriend: Look, I get the whole not wanting to have public sex thing, but I don't know if I can be with someone who won't play Wii.

--43rd & Madison


hahahahah that was the best one ever!
3:45 pm
Mindy said…
I thought so too!!! ahahahahhahaahahahha!!!
7:18 pm
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