-
It's funny how even in my own personal blog I edit myself.
I was going to say that I don't know where to begin or where to end. Everything is a, ok wait maybe not everything, but mostly everything, is a big giant mumble jumble.
I feel all stressed out about a lot of things:
School, my ability to handle stuff, money, working, myself and my competence as a functional person in society...
It feels like I need to be spending time in a cabin right now and figuring stuff out... isolated from everything else. Not everyone but just everything going on.
This is probably not the best way to handle things and at least not feasible for me right now anyways but man, what am i doing?
It's clear to me that I somehow wanna make a difference and prolly work with some "troubled" kids but I don't know if I am getting there. Hell... i don't even know if I am sane enough to help other people through shit.
On top of that... school seeems to be taking up SO much of my time. And don't get me wrong, I really like learning and education, I do. It just feels like I should also be learning about myself and I don't have time for it. I don't know if I should just drop one class and make it up in the summer, or do one extra semester.. or if it is better to stick it out. I really don't know. This political philosophy class has got me (in the words of a good friend) trippin balls. I have a 5-8 page essay due and man... i don't even like the topics. I like learning about this subject but nothing so far has inspired me to write an essay... not at all. Gawd.
On the positive side, I'm in an awesome relationship. I'm going to a concert tomorrow nite. I really like my social psych and art of listening classes (even tho i have a test next wednesday). My granny is most likely gonna be ok even tho the surgeon is gonna remove half of her freaking lung. umm and I have some pretty amazing friends. What can I say?
I don't know what I am complaining about really.. .
I just don't want to be doing all this now. But what do i want to be doing is the question? The answer is, I have no idea.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
Happy to cry... Joan of Arcadia made me cry ... again... It was such an amazing episode. There were so many little things to catch and I prolly missed some. But the whole part how Judith made the guy memorize Hamlet for her (tragedy where leading female dies) and just as he is finished it, she herself dies. And how Joan can always keep a part of Judith with her and just so many things. That show is soo good to me because it is really moving and it makes you think (as well as cry if you are like me). I am happy to cry because I can actually feel something. Experiencing something through a television. Before I was thinking about what it would be like to be someone else with a different kind of life. It just feels like I am not feeling enough right now. I know I am actually experiencing a lot and to use the simile katie did, it is "just like the earth is always moving but we never feel it". But I want to feel it. It's like something is missing. Lately I feel as if I have...
Read more
-
Lethargic... That's the perfect word to describe how I've been feeling. School starts tomorrow. I have to wake up at 7... ugggh. At least I finish at 10:30. After I have to go to the bank to pay my tuition and then pick up my two new pairs of glasses. I'm not even sure if they look nice but I just didn't feel like shopping around anymore. The place with the pair i really liked was closed but where I went I ended up getting two pairs for less then it would have cost for the one. So meehh. One of them is pink tho so that's pretty funky. I'll take a cam pic if I can figure out how to work my cam. That's why i've had this old one up forever, I don't know how to make it jpg after i take it instead of uhhh whatever the other one is. Man I'm bloody tired.
Read more
-
Man i'm so grumpy now. I was going to go to my dancing thingy tonight but I really just feel like crawling under my covers and hiding (and watching the oc) . Bad me, yes I know. I had my stats mid term today. I'm pretty upset about it. I studied so much and did so much work for that test and it was the easiest questions ever. SO much wasted time. Like the questions were things I was already answering in highschool, simple standard deviation and z scores and like mean and median. Ok well some stuff was mildly tougher but still. And the thing is, I totally fucked it up anyways. I knew it all but ok... let's start from the beginning. I was on time to get my bus but it got every fucking red light possible and went SOOO slow that i ended up being 5 minutes late for class. Then i was reading the question and I missed the one had lots of parts so I thought I had so much more time then I actually did. And so I was answering the questions and then realized I had no time and tried t...
Read more